Meet Mikey

Amy

I’m thinking of you and your family, Jenna. This is a terrible time for you but we’re all here to help you through it. I think it’s great that you are going to take a stand against guns and that you’re adopting Mikey. I’m sure John is really proud of you.

Courtney (The Hungry Yogini)

Jenna,
You are just radiating with love for John. It is so beautiful and I know that he hears you when you talk to him. Oh Jenna, I wish there was something I could do to make this easier for you. I love you my friend and you and your family haven’t left my mind. I keep repeating this poem in my mind and it just makes me think of you.

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
-ee cummings

I know you will always carry John’s heart with you. And he will carry yours.

Love and prayers,
Courtney

Emily

We love you too Jenna and hurt for you! I am so glad that there are so many people around to comfort you and your family. Mikey is adorable and I am sure your brother would be so happy that you gave him a home! You are continually in my prayers!

Kristin @ Iowa Girl Eats

It must be incredible to hear and see how much your brother was loved and will be missed by his peers. I have two brothers and I just can’t imagine what I would do if anything like this happened to either one of them. It sounds like you’re incredibly strong and have an amazing support system behind you. My prayers continue to be with you, your family and your brother. What an awesome way to keep him on your mind daily with the kitten – very sweet. 🙂

mags

jenna i am in awe everytime you write. you are truely an amazing person.

Michelle Hisae

Stay strong. That tattoo is a sign of him you can carry with you and show forever. You are a truly resilient person, even keeping us updated. All the best.

Emily

Hi Jenna,

I’m so glad that you are finding some comfort in the amazing people around you, Mikey, and the blogging community. I have been thinking about you and your family so much and are keeping you in my heart. You have been the ultimate vision of strength and continue to act as an inspiration. Please take care.

Emily

Michelle

Jenna, this is another beautiful post. I’ve really enjoyed getting to hear about your brother and wanted to say thanks for sharing so much about him with all of us. It’s so hard to find the right words at a time like this, but I just wanted you to know I’m thinking of you.

Marissa

You are such an amazing person!

Lindsay

Jenna,

I’m so glad you’re able to get back into the routine of your normal life. John’s friends and girlfriend sound amazing; your family must be very touched. Also, your passion is so evident, even now. You are truly an amazing woman – you have lots of people who look up to you, myself included!

Lindsay

Ali

Jenna,
You are so strong. Thinking about what you are going through is impossible, but I would like to think if I ever had to go through a tragedy like this, I would handle it like you. Put your energy, anger, sadness and love for John into changing the world and you know you will have hundreds of people behind you.
You and your family are in our prayers.
🙂 Ali

courtney

Your readers love you too, Jenna! Your family is amazing, and all of your love and work to honor John’s memory is heart-warming. I am so sorry this has happened, but I know that John will live on in your hearts and that his wonderful personality has touched so many people both in life and here in the blog. Mickey is one lucky kitty, and will be a reminder of what a special brother John was. I am thinking of you!!!

Jessica

Jenna, that picture of you with Mikey the kitten is adorable. I’m sure your brother was smiling down thinking what an amazing sister he has.

Amelia

I think it’s wonderful the ways you and your family are choosing to honor John. It is clear he was a tremendous person who touched so many lives. I think the things you do now will be the big things that give you strength going forward.
You have been such an inspiration to so many, including me. Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Amy

What an adorable cat. I know that your brother is looking down and smiling. It sounds like he was an amazing person, who led an amazing life, that was cut tragically short. I know that you will do something important with this and bring awareness to so many more people.

Juli

Beautiful.

Keep on being loving and forgiving with yourself. So many wonderful tributes to your kind-hearted brother. Also glad to hear you can smile some, as well as cry. Feel what you feel- honor yourself.

Love,
Juli

Rebeca

Mikey is beautiful… I’m sure that John is so happy that he can be part of your family and help heal your hearts. Please let me/us know how and if you need anything.

I had a really long conversation with my brother about this issue, too many young “kids” think they are immortal and that they can “play” with some really dangerous things… I’m glad you’re eating so well and that you have such a wonderful support system.

It might not mean much coming from some stranger, but I come from a family of deep faith and grew up as a missionary’s kid… My family is all praying for you, and I hope you don’t mind but I added your name to our church’s prayer list and now my entire church family is praying for your family.

Continue taking care of yourself!

Love in Christ,
Rebeca

Natalie

Jenna we absolutely love you to. I am glad you are so able to express your emotions and reading each of your post about John has given me chills and left me in tears. You are beyond beautiful inside and out and have been a huge inspriation to me since I started reading this blog over a year ago. I have been thinking about you and your family all weekend and will continue to pray for you everyday.

Peace & Love
Talie

allijag

I love Mikey! I think that is so fabulous – and I know John is so happy Mikey has a wonderful home now. I think the tattoos are fabulous as well. Your brothers physical body may be gone, but quite obviously his spirit lives on through all the lives he touched, and will continue to do so for many years. Keep hanging in there Jenna!

polly

I agree with Sarah. Mikey is perfect. Cute as ever, just like John. Love you, sunshine and God has huge plans for you in all of this! He gave you that AMAZING spirit for a reason! XXOO

Alisa - One Frugal Foodie

Mikey looks like an amazing little cat for such a wonderful home.

Andrea

we are all thinking of you. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Mikey is so adorable, John picks his pets well 🙂

Allison

John seems like he was such an incredible guy! Your love for him really shows. I think that is such a blessing that you have Mikey. He will be a perfect reminder that John is always at your side. It’s good to hear that your sleeping well. Taking care of yourself is important and can be hard at times like these. Keep praying and hang in there. You and your family will continue to be in my praryers.

Allie Katie

Mikey is just about the cutest kitten I have ever seen. He is oddly boy-ish (manly?) looking. Maybe it is his coloring. Clearly it is John coming through in Mikey.
Jenna, your strength is amazing. And in the times when you don’t feel strong, we’re here for you, your family is there for you, God is there for you. You are loved, and I am glad you are seeing more and more just how loved your brother was.

Nicole

I recently became interested in food blogs and happened to stumble across your blog on Sunday. Reading about the loss of your brother made me so sad but reading about how you are managing to keep his spirit alive as well as keeping yourself sane has given me new meaning for the word, ‘strength’. And as I continue reading other food blogs, I am realizing just how special of a person you truly are from seeing all the support and love that people are sending to you and your family. Jenna, I don’t know you very well but what I do know is that you are an incredible person. Your brother was lucky to have a sister like you and you were lucky to have been blessed with the time you had with your brother. My thoughts go out to you and your family. Please keep smiling and know that you are in our prayers. John seemed like such an extraordinary person and I know he will forever be your angel. Take care.

Kimberly

I cried reading this post… I feel like I know John more and more through each mention of him, and am so glad I do! In only 19 brief years on Earth, how deeply he enriched the lives of all he knew. Mikey is precious, and I’m so glad that he is now part of your family.

I believe very, very strongly in gun control, especially here in the state of Florida. We WILL stop this sort of tragedy from happening again.

emily

I’ve always been really strongly anti-gun but last year when my friend was shot it reinforced my beliefs even more. I talked at the time about doing something to change policy but never followed through. I (most likely) am moving to FL this summer and I would love to be involved with helping you in any way.

Meredith

Mikey is adorable!

When my dad died, we donated his organs and someone sent me this newspaper clipping that I have saved for years:

To Remember Me- By Robert N. Test
The day will come when my body will lie upon a white sheet neatly tucked under four corners of a mattress located in a hospital; busily occupied with the living and the dying. At a certain moment a doctor will determine that my brain has ceased to function and that my life has stopped. Don’t call this my deathbed. Let it be called the bed of life, and let my body be taken from it to help others lead fuller lives.
Give my sight to the man who has never seen a sunrise, a baby’s face or love in the eyes of a woman.
Give my heart to a person whose own heart has caused nothing but endless days of pain.
Give my blood to the teenager who was pulled from the wreckage of his car, so that he might live to see his grandchildren play.
Give my kidneys to the one who depends on a machine to exist from week to week.
Take my bones, every muscle, every fiber and nerve in my body and find a way to make a crippled child walk.
Explore every corner of my brain.
Take my cells, if necessary, and let them grow so that, someday a speechless boy will shout at the crack of a bat and a deaf girl will hear the sound of rain against her window.
Burn what is left of me and scatter the ashes to the winds to help the flowers grow.
If you must bury something, let it be my faults, my weakness and all prejudice against my fellow man.
Give my soul to God.
If, by chance, you wish to remember me, do it with a kind deed or word to someone who needs you. If you do all I have asked, I will live forever.

Katrina (gluten free gidget)

Your brother seemed to touch everyone who knew him. And, that kitten is his gift to you and your parents. He is smiling down from heaven.

ashley (sweet & natural)

Jenna, your posts are so beautiful. Thank you for sharing with us. You and your family will continue to be in my thoughts.

Whitney

I had a friend that was shot less than a week before we graduated from HS from an accidental shooting and it has made me hate guns. I will never understand people that have them, especially hand guns.

I am still so sad for your unspeakable loss. Looks like Mikey will grow into an adorable cat to live on the memory of your brother.

Thinking about you again today.

Whitney

Beth

You are an inspiration and so strong as you share your emotions with us. I would have loved to have known your brother; he sounds like an amazing person. Take care and keep letting us know how you and your family are doing.

Claire

BTW, Mikey is just PRECIOUS!

Stephanie

God bless you Jenna. I’m praying for you every day. You are loved. Stephanie

lora

it sounds as though you are holding up well because of the amazing support system you have….I personally have 3 tattoos but my FIRST was of the name of Max Ehrman’s poem “DESIDERATA” the most beautiful poem ever…after I went through a life altering year, I decided to get this poem in cursive on my wrist as a reminder that we are all children of the universe and of nature and we all deserve peace and happiness..I know you will love the poem once you read it.

have a nice tuesday and I am praying for your family and John in heaven.

xoxo
Lora

Amandamoo

I’m in awe of your strength and composure. You are such a strong woman, don’t doubt that. Get yourself up on that gun control soapbox! We’ll stand there with you.

Lindsey

Also, my first (and so far, only) tattoo is of my nephew’s footprint who passed away 5 years ago. It’s on my foot and I absolutely love it. I think tattoos are an amazing way to honor someone you love.

Mary

*adorable* kitty. You are so strong Jenna, and I am so very glad for all of the support you are receiving. A lot of prayers and support coming out from California.

Rhoni

I’m a newer reader, but I seriously enjoy your blog. And I’m so sorry for your loss. But it’s great that you have so many who care to help you through this. And I’m so glad to hear you want to take a stand against gun violence. I’m so sick of people saying “Guns don’t kill people, people kill people.” Well, this story proves that wrong once and for all. Watch “Bowling for Columbine” if you haven’t already. And then if you need help, supporters, anything…don’t hesitate to ask for volunteers! 🙂 I’m not local, but I’d love to help in any way that I can. Peace and love to you and your family.

Eliza

Jenna-

I read your blog often but have never commented. I am so inspired by you, truly, and I am sure you must fell horrible, but I have confidence that you will deal with this tragic challenge with all the grace you exhibit every day on this blog. Last year, a loved one of mine died, and at the funeral, someone read this poem. I hope it brings you some comfort, as it did to me.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.

I wish you all the best, and you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
-Eliza

Christine

That kitten is beautiful and you are an inspiration to us all. You and your family are in my prayers and thoughts.

Janet

Girl, you eat what you want! You’re right – life’s too short, have that cookie, etc! I’m so, so glad to see that you are able to sleep and eat and also that you have such an amazing support system around you. You and your brother are very loved!

I’ve been thinking about you and your family a lot these last few days. I can’t imagine what you are going through, but just know that so many people are thinking of you and wishing you the best!

Mikey is adorable and I’m so glad you guys got to adopt him!

Hangry Pants

I am glad you are able to find some sort of normalcy in the midst of all this. It’s wonderful that friends and family are around you. And I am totally with you on gun laws. I know all the arguments on both sides, but I don’t care – I see no reason for it.

patti

i’m also a lurker, love your blog. sending prayers to you and your family during this heartbreaking time

Petra B

Your strength is increadible, Jenna. My thoughts and wishes are with you all through this tragic time.

It’s so lovely that you adopted the kitten, it is such a beautiful act of rememberance, as are the tattoos. He will remain forever with you all.

Take care of yourself.

Tabby

I just wanted to let you know that I have been and will continue to pray for you and your family. God is definitely giving you the strength to get through all of this and I pray that he will continue to strengthen you and your family. I think that the kitten is such a great way to honor your brother, he would be so happy to know that this little animal that he loved still has a place with your family even though he is no longer there. The cat will be a great reminder of the love that he had for your family and that you all will always have for him. I’m keeping all of you in my prayers!

Anne P

Mikey is so adorable… what a wonderful way to keep John’s spirit alive. That is a really beautiful photo of the two of you.

Alex

Jenna,

You have great strenght to be admired for and how you are handeling your loss. It’s great to see that you are getting some of your normal routine back. The strenght that you have to keep going and stand to do something against guns. The photo of you and Mickey really shows the passion you had for your brother. Again I am very sorry for your loss and just keep going foward and keep having the great strength you have.

Stacey M

*Love Lives On*
Those we love remain with us
for love itself lives on,
and cherished memories never fade
because a loved one’s gone.
Those we love can never be
more than a thought apart,
far as long as there is memory,
they’ll live on in the heart.

justrun

Jenna- My thoughts and prayers are with your family and will continue to be. I am inspired by you now more than ever.
God bless you and your family.

amanda

that kitten is so cute! I am glad you are going to do something to try and save other kid’s lives, I wish you the best in that and I know you will do a good job! It unfortunatly happens more then we think, people need to have those things locked away!
God Bless =)

Stef

I’m so glad that you haven’t lost your appetite or your sense of humor! You really are an amazing person, but again I’m sorry I only found your blog because of the tragedy of your brother’s passing! That kitten is PRECIOUS!!!! Wow, I can’t think of a more perfect way to feel connected with your brother, that is so special. And the tattoo idea is great, can’t wait to hear/see what you decide on! I hope God gives you strength during the next few days, and that the ceremony is full of love and celebration of John’s life!

I admire your determination to do something about gun control to make sure this never happens to another family. I’ve always been disturbed by gun violence and accidents, but hearing what happened to your brother really put a face on the issue. I KNOW you will make a difference!!

Amy

Jenna,

I bawl every time I read your newest post – I can’t imagine the raw pain you, your family, and friends are going through right now. May God hold you close in the comfort of knowing that John is out of all pain. You are such an inspiration.

MizFit

Checking back in on you.

Praying for you to find some comfort in how John was loved.

Beadie @ What I Ate Yesterday

I am so glad you are adopting that precious kitten that john loved so much. He will give you such comfort in the time that is to come. I have to tell you again that your spirit is shining so brightly, I have no doubt that your brother is living in your heart. Thanks for sharing with us, we support you all that way. {{{Love and Hugs}}}

Shelby

Jenna,
I love everything about this post. From the kitten adoption, to the good memories, to the tattoo, and the dream to fight against guns. You are truly an amazing person and I am so proud of you for doing what you believe in. Stay strong hun!
xoxo

Renee

My ex-boyfriend and I used to argue back and forth on the subject of gun control. He takes the literal interpretation of “the right to bear arms” in our Constitution. One of his hobbies was going to the shooting range with his buddies, and he insisted that even after getting married and having kids, he would always keep a gun (or several) in his home. Needless to say, the relationship didn’t last. Thank you for your strength and resolve in taking a firm stance on this issue. John’s legacy will continue through your efforts.

MLT

Jenna,
Thank you for sharing your grief and pain with us. I know most people would probably just shut down and I’m glad you have a way to let out some of your feelings through this blog and your beautiful writing. I hope you know that by sharing your memories of John and your feelings during this horrible time with hundreds and hundreds of strangers, you are doing a real thing to commemorate him. Because of you so many people have heard his name and seen his face and I know that because of you and John I’ve appreciated my own little brothers even more. That’s an amazing thing for a big sister to do.
I hope you continue to take care of yourself and take comfort in your wonderful family and friends.

Lindsey (Mrs. LC)

So many times things happen, tragedies happen for no reason, out of the blue, freak accidents that we have no control over. We can’t control these moments but we can control our lives, how we deal with them, and how we use our lives after these events. God has given you such a gift with words, a gift with people, and a gift of your wonderfully strong, compassionate spirit. God IS using you, your family, and John’s life and his story.

You and your family will continue to be in my prayers! Oh, and Mikey is adorable, I am so glad you all get to adopt him!

Lyss

Though I don’t know why God faced you with this burden, I do know one thing: You are handling it the way He would have intended and honoring all 19 beautiful years of your little brother’s life. I, too, have a little brother, and I’m going to squeeze him tight the next time I see him in your honor.

John will live on forever… Through the kitten, through your tattoo, through your soul and through the lives of his amazing friends. Please continue to reach out to all of us; we are here to offer you nothing but support!

XOXO,
Alyssa
livelaughlyss@gmail.com

Jan

Jenna,

I am a lurker that has read your blog for over two years and I wanted to say that I am so sorry about your brother John. I wish that I could drive to your home and just give you and your family a great big hug. But, for now all I can do is give you a cyber hug. I will continue to pray for you and your family, and may the Lord our Father be with you and your family.

Jen

Mikey is adorable! I’m so glad you adopted him & I know he will bring comfort and sunshine to your life =D Sounds like you are coping well given what has happened. Keep on hugging those family and friends – they sound like a wonderful support system.

Nicole

Your words are so touching and this post brought me to tears. Stay strong, Jenna. <3

lisa

Jenna,
Reading these past few posts I am amazed at how strong you are. You have my full support in any gun control action you take. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Lisa

stephanie

I went for a long walk yesterday in the warm California sunshine, pushing my 5 month old baby girl, and you and your family were on my mind. Tears well up every time I imagine the pain and disbelief you are dwelling with during these days. Know that you are being prayed for across the country…prayers for a supernatural comfort, peace that passes understanding, strength of spirit, rest for your body and mind, hope in things unseen, purpose in the face of pain, renewal from the Heavenly Father.
Kindly,
Stephanie H.

Lauren

A very beautiful and moving post, Jenna. My thoughts remain with you and your family during this very difficult time. Despite the hardship, I know that you will emerge the same strong person that we see day in, day out on this blog. I think that taking a stance for better gun control is one of the best ideas in the world–I know you will be successful in your efforts.

Take care.

Melomeals: Vegan For $3.33 a Day

It’s wonderful that Mikey is home now..

Paula

Mikey is precious! I can’t think of a better way to honor John’s memory than adopting him. Bless you guys.

Tina O.

I am so glad you are doing better. I think about you & your family every day and keep checking back in. I think adopting Mikey is a great thing you are doing and will help your family so much.
The celebration of life sounds perfect. Last year my friend Rachel died. She was the wife of a musician. At the service, all of his friends gathered in the organ balcony and did a rousing rendition of “When the Saints Go Marching In”. He danced out of the church with their 2 little boys and everyone was on their feet dancing and clapping. It was a such a wonderful thing and she would have loved it.

K

Jenna, knowing your through the blog I know that you can do anything you set your mind to! You will be a powerful advocate against guns if you choose to go down that path! Something does need to be done, you’re right. Please keep us updated!

terry

The night this happened to your brother my 7 yo son was playing with a nerf gun not paying attention to where it was pointing and my husband told him to make sure to never point anything at your face and that the most dangerous gun is the one you don’t think is loaded. And the next morning I read about your brother, so tragic and I can’t imagine the pain. It still gives me chills. There is more education about guns, but there needs to be more. Our pediatrician even talked about it at his check up, because there are guns in other people’s houses. Thank you for sharing and God bless your family.

erinbeth

so what stage of the grieving are you in today? it cycles, you know. some days you’re mad all over again, and other days your heart is just shattered and you don’t want to get out of bed. and then the good days come, more and more frequently. you start to get back to normalcy, and notice that an entire hour has passed without you remembering. and then another hour, and another. and then one day you walk into a store and see something that you know they would just love, and remember. and it starts the cycle all over again.
i know how badly it can hurt, jenna. and how a piece of your life will always feel a little hollow, but it will get better. the cycling of emotions will become less extreme, and GOD will heal you from the inside out. bring HIM glory. prayers and hugs~e

Shelbney

Hi Jenna,
I will say it again, your strength is so amazing. I know I will be thinking of you all day tomorrow. Will you be speaking? And please tell us how your parents are.
So awesome you guys have Mikey.
Thoughts and prayers to you all.

Nadia

Again, so sorry for your loss. I think you’re an incredibly strong and amazing woman. God will get you through this….keep faith and stay strong.

Kelly

Hang in there Jenna, the pain of your loss will never go away, but time will lessen the pain…I recently lost a loved one and 2 things that helped me grieve were my workouts every morning…by myself lost in my own thoughts….and warm chocolate chip cookies…I found comfort and both…and at a time like this a little comfort is what you need.

Heather McD (Heather Eats Almond Butter)

Jenna,
Still thinking of you constantly wishing I could be there in person to hold you tight and tell you “IT’S GOING TO BE OKAY.” Some days are just going to suck, but it will get easier, and you will ALWAYS hold John in your heart…always.

I’m with you on the whole gun thing – 100%.

Nicole

I have typed about 10 different messages and can’t seem to say the right thing…or I can’t get it out how I want it to.. so I’ll just stick with this.
You remain in my thoughts and prayers each nite. Keep on taking good care of yourself through this time.

Shannon (The Daily Balance)

What an adorable kitten! I’m sure John is BEAMING down at you. Still sending you many thoughts and prayers…

God bless 😉

Jerilynne

Jenna, you are really amazing. You’re so strong and never give up – such an inspiration!

And P.S. Mikey is adorable!!

Ryan (Chase Daylight)

All of the things you are doing to commemorate John’s life are truly breathtaking. Your brother sounds like he was an amazing person and I’m sure he would be proud of how you are dealing with this loss. Mikey looks like has some serious soul in his eyes and I can only imagine the emotion you feel when you look at him! Keep on pushing through, you are so strong Jenna!

Rachel

Mikey is precious! I’m so happy you got to adopt him. What a great way to remind you of him. BTW: your highlights look great! 🙂

I’m so glad you’re doing ok. It’s great to have all the support from your family, friends and the blog world. You are such a strong woman and I’m so glad I have gotten to “know” you.

Don’t even get me started on the gun issue. I HATE them! I’ve shot a shotgun once and scared me to death. I’ve never had them in my house and never intend to. Two years ago my best friend was shot and killed by some guy that was obsessed with her. Her shot himself right after. 6 months later my friend was out shooting in the country with some of his fraternity brothers and accidently got shot and killed. Almost 8 months ago a close family friend of mine got shot while he was getting robbed. It’s not just crazy people with guns but accidents happen and you don’t get many second chances after a gun accident. Anyway…enough ranting.

I’m glad to hear you’re doing ok…we’re all here for you.

Lisa

Your strength truly amazes me! Mikey is adorable and I’m sure John is smiling down at you and your family!

Jenna, you have such a gift. You really know how to “speak” to people. I’m sure there are hundreds of lurkers just like myself who really “listen” to what you have to say. I don’t know what it is…if it’s your cheerfulness, passion or what, but it gets through to me. I think with your gift and your passion to stop this tragedy from happening to others, speaking to people about gun accidents would really be effective. People would listen to you. Hearing the story of your brother told in your words I think would make people who would normally think “it wouldn’t happen to me” think again.

Meredith (Pursuing Balance)

I definitely cried reading this post. You and your family remain in my thoughts and prayers.
I am glad you are taking a stand against guns. I always hated going over to my ex’s and seeing his gun. I always made him put it in a drawer while I was there, but apparently he slept with it under his pillow when I wasn’t there (accident waiting to happen!). I really believe that if it wasn’t so accessible to him he wouldn’t have chosen to end his life.
God Bless.

Gina

Jenna, I am so sorry for your loss. I’m praying for you and your family every day, and I know God will work this out for good (Rom. 8:28).
Like others have said, I wish there were a way to make this easier for you. Continue to rely on God for your strength; He will always be with you!
Lisa (comment #163) said exactly what I planned to say. You know how to speak to people; and you can use your story to make a difference. Thank you for sharing John with us.

Linda

Sweet Jenna I loved this post. Your family deciding to adopt that little kitten in honor of your brother is so beautiful! I agree with you on gun control and with your passion and intelligence you will truly make a difference. You can turn this tragedy into a catalyst for helping people. . .amazing, life does go on and you are proof of that. Once again thanks for letting us in to your life right now. Much love and peace to you and your family.

katecooks

dear jenna, your brother sounds like a truly wonderful person, and i am 100% sure that he is with you now in some way, through mikey and his friends and the stories and memories, and will always be there for you. know that we are all thinking of you, and inspired by your strength. you’re amazing 🙂

Lauren

Jenna,
I just read your blog for the first time in a few days and I am so heartbroken for you and your family…sitting here in tears at work.

I think I finally have a very strong stance on gun control…

I just prayed for you and I will be praying for you.

Hugs from a Longtime Lurker,
Lauren

Sarah W.

hey Jenna – mikey is SUPER cute!!!!!!!!!!!! That is so fantasticyour family is adopting mikey 🙂
I have a question – did the loaded gun have a safety or the safety on? Guns should have safetys engaged in order to prevent such occurances. remember plaxico burrs or whatever that stupid football player is who shot himself in the foot b/c he had his gun in a POCKET without the safety engaged!!! ??? I would be curious to know if the gun that shot john had a safety and why it wasn’t engaged. (feel free to post the answer to this question in a blog post) Pretty reckless…its so sad. You should take a stand!

Robin

Jenna,
I read your blog daily and my heart goes out to you and your family. You are such a positive and inspirational person and that is going to push you through this rough time. It is obvious that your brother continues to live through your heart, your actions and your words. Take care of yourself.

Organic Girl aka AshleyH

Powerful. Beautiful. Inspirational.

Diana (Soap & Chocolate)

What a wonderful addition to the family! Mikey is lucky to receive the love you had for John, which was obviously immense. Thinking of you as your brother’s service approaches.

LT

The picture of you holding Mikey brought tears to my eyes! I, too, feel very strongly for more stringent gun control. You definitely have it in you to make a difference, Jenna!!

Kelly

You are officially the most courageous person I have ever known. I am in awe by your strength. I completely agree with you on the gun control issue. I wish you the best of luck in addressing that issue.

Kathleen

I hope little Mikey brings some peace to your family during this difficult time. Having something that John cared about to nurture right now will be good for everyone. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your entire family. I have no doubt that you will indeed make a difference when it comes to educating people about guns and the accidents that can happen as a result of having them laying around. Huge hugs.

lainb

I’m thinking of you so often. Thank you for continuing to post.

And please know that if/when you want to take a stand about gun control…I’ll take a stand with you 100%!!!!

Katherine

Jenna,

Please continue to write, to release all of these thoughts and emotions from your system. This is your space to make it what you want, and I know we will all continue to come here every day to read about what you are feeling, thinking, and, of course, eating! I feel like I know you…. I only wish I could go there in person, give you a hug, and tell you what an inspiration you have been to me in many ways. What a wonderful spirit you have.

Babycakes

Jenna,
I have been thinking of you very often these past few days. I just wanted to send more love and prayers your way. Mikey is beautiful and most definitely carries John’s spirit.
Big hug
Love,
Jaime

Mindy

Mikey is so cute! And tiny!
It’s so touching that your dad is getting the tattoo John wanted. And I love that you’re getting something to represent John too. Perfect 🙂

This is a side note, and sort of unrelated to everything, but I think so far we’ve “met” your mom and your brother on this blog.. I’m not sure if we’ve ever “met” your dad (i mean, he’s been mentioned before but never seen lol).. Maybe one day you can introduce him to us! Take care, Jenna.

Cassie

Awww Mikey is soooo cute! Thats so nice that Johns teacher and friends stopped by. You and your dad getting tattoos I think is a great way to honor your brother, especially your dad getting EXACTLY what John wanted, I think thats amazing. You know he’ll be there with you guys, Im sure hes with you now. Im glad that your giving yourself time alone by heading to the gym thats probably the best thing for your metal wellbeing right now. Your soooo strong and I admire you for that. Keep your head up girlie…Im prayin’ for ya’

Joy

Of COURSE you get the ‘eat anything you want’ pass! 😉 Even if it’s sortof a “front”, I can tell your doing a little better today and that makes me so happy. Mikey is absolutely adorable and it is perfect you adopted him, I bet it will console your family always because part of John is with you. I also think a tattoo is a great idea. John is so happy right now seeing how much he is loved.

Again, I’m so glad so may people are pouring into your house to be with you! We all wish we could be there too. Love you <3

Lauren

This is such a powerful post, Jenna. I am sitting here in my university’s computer lab trying to hold the tears back, but it just isn’t possible. Your love for John has truly been shinning through on your last few posts, and it is obvious that he was such a wonderful individual who made a significant impact during the time he was in this world. You are such a great sister for adopting Mikey. I know that John is looking down on you with a smile. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I am so glad that so many people have been stopping by your house, but just know that all of us “bloggies” wish we could be there too!

Amy

Jenna, a song that might be of some comfort to you right now is Kristin Chenoweth’s “Borrowed Angels.” A few of the lyrics are…

They shine a little brighter, they feel a little more
They touch your life in ways no one has ever done before
They love a little stronger, they live to give their best
They make our lives so blest, so why do they go so soon?
The ones with souls so beautiful
I heard someone say–

There must be Borrowed Angels, here in this life
They come along, into this world, and make this world bright
But they can’t stay forever, cause they’re heaven sent
And sometimes, heaven needs them back again

They reach a little deeper, they see what’s in your soul
And even when they leave you know, you’ll never let them go
The world’s a little richer, just cause they came along
Their love goes on and on, so why do they go so soon?
The ones with souls so beautiful.

Caitlin

Mikey is so sweet. I also have such a soft spot for kittens, and I am sure he will bring bundles of joy to your mom and dad.

The idea of the tattoo is very nice. I am always a favor of tattoos that symbolize something, and this is just as good an example as anything. You will have to keep us updated what you decide to get.

Stay strong-as you have been 🙂

Jenn

Jenna, you and your family are in my prayers. You seem so strong; I don’t know how you’re doing it. What a blessing to have so many people come to your house just to sit, cry, laugh, tell stories…I’m sure you’re finding out so many wonderful things about John. One lighter note…I recently bought the PB2 and like it (my kids don’t, though). I mix both the regular and chocolate together-yummy! I love your idea of putting it in yogurt:) I will have to try it.
God’s blessing on you and your family,
Jennifer

magicanderson

Adopting Mikey is an awesome way to honor your brother and his wishes! Kittens are about the sweetest thing in the whole wide world! You so know John is smiling at you all! Hugs and prayers, Lisa

Lindsey

These lyrics have put my heart and mind at peace countless times….

MercyMe – Bring The Rain

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I’ve gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It’s never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there’ll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that’s what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what’s a little rain
So I pray

Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty

laci

Jenna-
*Awww mikey 🙂
you are a beautiful girl with a beautiful soul- I especially loved the last paragraph about gun control- I try to always keep in mind one CAN make a significant difference! 😀

Nicole

Jenna,
It is truly amazing to see how strong you have been through all this. I have cried reading every post thus far, & I offer my condolences from the bottom of my heart. It is beautiful the amount of love you have shown for your brother. I admire your strength, keep your head up. Lots of love and best wishes being sent to you and your family. <3

Erin

I ? that your dad got John’s tattoo.
Good girl for eating & sleeping.
**hugs**

Kelly

That whole story is so sweet about the kitchen. I continue to be so sorry about your loss but am touched by how many people have shown an outpouring of support four your brother. It sounds like he is very loved.

beerab

I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your brother 🙁
When I read about Mikey I thought to myself that John brought him to you just in time. Just before a family member of mine passed, my husband bought me a pet, and when they passed away unexpectedly my pet really helped me through that time, as silly as that may sound.
My condolences to your family.

Oh She Glows

You speak so beautiful…with so much love. Your posts have brought me to tears each time. The amount of love you have for John is so clear…the kitten is beautiful too. What a lovely thing to do for John.

I was actually thinking the same things about gun control too and I was wondering if you were going to do something. I think it is quite possibly your calling in life and I know you will make John proud.

heather

Oh Jenna, my heart breaks for you and your family. I have a younger brother and I don’t know what I would do without him. You have an amazing base in your family and your internet family. We follow your life through this food blog and although most of us have never met you, we all feel like we know you. I am in awe of your faith and inner strength during such a difficult time. I know that tomorrow will be a tough day for you. Know that we will all be with you in thoughts and prayers.

Jenni

jenna, it’s good to hear that you’re staying strong and getting sleep and eating a good amount of chocolate 🙂 nobody deserves to go through what you’re going through, but if it makes you feel any better, how you are dealing with your situation shows the world what grace, passion, and love you have to offer. i think that getting a tattoo is a wonderful idea, and very cathartic. also–i’m glad you’re taking a stand on gun control. it’s way too loose and unsupervised, and it NEEDS to be reformed, and it makes my heart hurt to know that good, smart, kind kids die from this kind of craziness. i’m continuing to keep you and your family and friends in my prayers.

tiffany

We love you, Jenna, and are thinking about and praying for you. You are SUCH a strong woman.

Cate

John was a great young man. He has shown that through the love of his friends, teachers, and most of all you and your family. Thanks for letting us know more about this beautiful person. I think it’s wonderful that you and your father are getting tattoos in his memory. Mikey is so cute.

Meghann

Thinking of you and your family tonight, Jenna. I love the pictures of Mikey, I can definitely see how you see your brother John in him. You are already making a difference by sharing so much with us.

“Now we are seeing a dim reflection in a mirror; but then we shall see face to face. The knowledge that I have now is imperfect; but then I shall know as fully as I am known.” 1 Corinthians 13:12-13

Caroline

Jenna, I recently discovered your blog and have been enjoying reading about your life so much. Hearing about your brother’s death affects me even though I don’t know you or him. It sounds like he was a great person– and such a cutie :). I admire the grace with which you are handling this situation- you are a strong lady.

Theresa

Hey Jenna,

My heart aches for you, even though I don’t even “know” you. I’m so sorry for your loss, and for your family and friends’. I’m so happy that the blog world can support you right now. And also that you have a representation of John’s spirit in Mikey. I hope adopting him helps somewhat to heal the hole in your heart. I check back every day to see how you are doing. I’m clearly not the only one =)

Rachel

I keep saying this every day, but thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and emotions with us…I think that it’s an incredibly brave thing to do. You’ve helped us get to know John through these posts.

Jess

Jenna,
I’ve actually just stumbled across your blog via, Meghann and all I can say is how incredibly strong you are, to be living through such tragedy right now and still keeping up a beautiful blog. You’ve moved me to tears and my co-workers are now giving me sideways looks, but who cares. Stay strong, as I have a feeling you will.
Much Love,
Jess