I’ve never changed my Brita filter
Instead of washing my apples, I just merely rub them on my jeans
I take walk breaks every five minutes whenever I run
I have four bars of Lindt Sea Salt Chocolate in my silverware drawer
I love raw cookie dough. Salmonella Smalmonella
I’m still addicted to the Little House on the Prairie books. Don’t tell me I’m the only one with a secret crush on Almanzo.
And, I have an announcement!
I have come to a very important realization.
These jeans obviously must have shrunk in the wash.
A piece of my heart chipped off when I threw them across the house last week with vengeance—I mean they are citizens and all—but clearly they just shrunk in the dryer. If you were holding your breath, you may exhale now.
That is all.