Dessert/ Dinner

Drained

I have to say, I feel physically and mentally drained today. Its as if the weight of all that happened in the past two weeks is resting on my shoulders and I have a tension headache. Sorry to be debbie downer, but its just that kind of night!

This afternoon I sipped on some fabulous peppermint tea while I wrote—

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Peppermint tea is a favorite of mine. It never fails to calm me down and I’ve drank it for years!

I also snacked on a banana with almond butter a little later—

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I went with my parents to grief counseling and it was good….well not “good” but as good as grief counseling can be I guess. I’m glad they took control and made me go with me because I’m much more of a writer than a talker and my previous feelings were why cry to someone else about my problems when it won’t bring John back. However, I do admit it helps to just get it out and the woman I have been working with is amazing and very experienced. She lost her brother, too, so she can relate more with what I am going through than anyone else.

Dinner was simple and satisfying

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I made a salad with organic greens, mushrooms and a tomato and drizzled on some homemade balsamic vinegarette (a splash of olive oil, balsamic vinegar and a touch of sea salt) and had it with rotisserie chicken breast and a baked sweet potato

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+ a small glass of red wine for good measure

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We still have so many unopened bottles of wine that friends brought over the week that my brother died….my parents could probably run a liquor store out of their house! I generously took a bottle off their hands 😉

And after dinner, I met Courtney at Berryism for a frozen yogurt treat since I was sort of just wallowing by myself at home and Ryan has a business dinner tonight and won’t be home till late. I got a kid’s size of the all natural green tea yogurt topped with coconut and chocolate chips!

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It hit the spot. I love that place.

Now I’m sipping on more peppermint tea and I’m about to take a bath and get in bed even though its only 8:15. I don’t know why I have felt more drained today than any day so far but I guess its just the stress of it all. Tomorrow I was planning on going to yoga but I don’t think my wrist is going to be up to it yet (it STILL hurts, yall!) so I’m going to go to spinning instead and then to IKEA because I finally made a *tiny* list. Nothing big, just some kitchen stuff because my mom and I are cleaning the entire condo all afternoon tomorrow and then our new oven finally arrives tomorrow evening!

Have a great night!

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30 Comments

  • Reply
    Courtney (The Hungry Yogini)
    May 7, 2009 at 6:26 pm

    Many more Berryism trips to come!! It was great to see you. Oooh, I have an idea…let’s have a girl’s night with WINE!! Next time Ryan has a late night let me know and I’ll come keep you company. Now that I’m legal and all =)

    I hear you on the yoga…no biggie. We will catch it next time. Enjoy spinning! Night girl!

  • Reply
    life coach jen
    May 7, 2009 at 6:27 pm

    I bet you can’t wait to have the oven!

  • Reply
    weight and meditate
    May 7, 2009 at 6:28 pm

    Glad grief counseling was good…how long will you guys be going?

    • Reply
      jenna
      May 7, 2009 at 6:39 pm

      weight and meditate,

      Nothing is set in stone. I guess we will know when its been long enough.

  • Reply
    Katrina (gluten free gidget)
    May 7, 2009 at 6:30 pm

    Have you tried Cali Yogurt? My little sis-in-law is obsessed!

  • Reply
    M
    May 7, 2009 at 6:38 pm

    It’s your prerogative to be “debbie downer” right now, and you do NOT need to apologize for it!

    (And i think you’re handling everything with such strength and grace, anyway.)

  • Reply
    sammy
    May 7, 2009 at 6:39 pm

    Pamper yourself with lots of cozy little things -like your tea,baths,pedicure,and of course books and journals!
    How could you EVER be a debbie downer-my god you JUST lost your brother in recent days-I would be worried if you weren’t having lots of emotional ups and downs .This was and is one of THE most important people of your life -it is a huge tragedy to deal with and unfortunately will be extremely difficult.You will grow and change because of this and it can mean a lot if you feel the power and meaning of John’s spirit had led you to do and try and treasure things you may have overlooked before.John has many more gifts of love to pass on to you in your life here on earth-I hope some of them you will be able to know in your heart are due to him.I hope your conversations with his soul continue on in the closeness that only a brother and sister can know.

  • Reply
    MOM
    May 7, 2009 at 6:40 pm

    Sammy ~ Thank you. Those were the most beautiful thoughts and words ~

  • Reply
    elliebelle
    May 7, 2009 at 6:50 pm

    It’s totally ok to have down days, and you don’t need to apologize here for talking about them. After what you have been through, we definitely understand, and we’re here to listen and offer support.
    Oh, man, that dessert looks amazing!

  • Reply
    katie s
    May 7, 2009 at 6:57 pm

    Jenna, I love how honest you are with us even in the worst of times. Please never think of yourself as a debbie downer. You are honest and we are all here for you. This is going to be a journey for you and the pain will never cease. Thank you so much for keeping us apart of your life. Take care of yourself, you deserve it!!!

  • Reply
    Bec
    May 7, 2009 at 7:07 pm

    Green tea fro yo? sounds amazing! I’m glad that you found someone to talk to that you can relate with and feel will help you. Have fun at ikea tomorrow!

  • Reply
    Jenna
    May 7, 2009 at 7:07 pm

    Jenna, 🙂 you don’t have to apologize for being a debbie downer I’m sure everyone here understands that you might be blue for awhile! We’ll still keep reading 🙂

    I hope you have a fun trip to ikea!!! I so wish we had one closer to me!

    That salad looks so good!!

  • Reply
    Kelly
    May 7, 2009 at 7:08 pm

    It’s funny you have the Trader Joe’s peppermint tea. I was just reading their little newsletter today and I was thinking, I love peppermint tea, I should try that. Now I definitely will.
    Don’t ever worry about being a debbie downer…you deserve to vent 🙂

  • Reply
    Run Sarah
    May 7, 2009 at 7:21 pm

    Tea has such a calming effect on me too, I’ve just started drinking it. Glad the grief counsellor is good – it must be so much easier to relate if she can truly understand what you are going through.

  • Reply
    Mara @ What's For Dinner?
    May 7, 2009 at 7:53 pm

    You have every right to be down… I’m amazed you seem as “together” as you are. I would’ve drowned myself in bagels and ice cream by now.

  • Reply
    Jess
    May 7, 2009 at 7:59 pm

    Jenna you are doing so wonderful! I hope you have a lovely day tomorrow!!

  • Reply
    Michelle Hisae
    May 7, 2009 at 8:00 pm

    I’m sorry you felt crummy all day. But it looked like it ended well! Have a great rest and hope tomorrow is better and brighter!

  • Reply
    Jen
    May 7, 2009 at 8:18 pm

    Aww, Jenna. We’re here for you, we love you, and we admire your strength on your best days and your worst days too. So don’t worry about being a Debbie Downer! Tomorrow will be a new day. 🙂

  • Reply
    Tracy
    May 7, 2009 at 8:34 pm

    Jenna, you are such an optimistic person…it’s normal to feel down – please continue to express your feelings. I know you get pleasure and peace out of cooking and my hope for you is that continues and brings you comfort.

  • Reply
    brookesballbuster
    May 7, 2009 at 9:37 pm

    I’m so sorry you have to go through this. It’s not fair and it hurts more anyone should ever, ever have to endure. Time heals all things. Life will get easier, I promise:) God bless you.

  • Reply
    Kimberly
    May 7, 2009 at 9:48 pm

    I’m glad to hear you are attending grief counseling! My mom died when my siblings and I were tweens — we did not seek counseling (just blocked it out and kept moving), but looking back, it would have been beneficial!! So the ‘Debbie Downer’ nights might suck, but better to confront those feelings now than let them pop back up in the future. Your strength is so admirable!

    This may sound random, but have you ever considered learning a musical instrument? Throughout my life, banging out my feelings on the piano has proven SO therapeutic. Just a thought!

  • Reply
    Sarah (lovINmytummy)
    May 7, 2009 at 10:45 pm

    I once worked with a grief counselor after I lost a family member, and she too had lost a close loved one. It was so nice to know that not only did she know what I was going through, but to see how she came out on the other side of her grief. Counseling AND grief is so draining, I hope you are able to take the time you need to rest and just BE for awhile.

  • Reply
    Stef
    May 8, 2009 at 1:45 am

    I’m so glad that you found a therapist you can talk to and who can also relate to you about your brother. Sorry your wrist still hurts, but once the pain subsides you’ll be able to fully enjoy the special meaning of the tattoo! Yum sweet potatoes and peppermint tea, great eats as always!

  • Reply
    Lacey
    May 8, 2009 at 2:14 am

    Green tea frozen yogurt sounds great! I have never seen that anywhere. Your wrist will be better before you know it 😀

  • Reply
    Beadie
    May 8, 2009 at 4:28 am

    I’m sorry you were haing one of those days. Good for you for getting the counseling. I waited 2 YEARS after my brother died to get counseling and I really wish I would have gone sooner. Just remember to just feel what you feel and express it whatever way you know how.

  • Reply
    Melanie
    May 8, 2009 at 5:53 am

    Was that your first grief counseling session? Any kind of “talk therapy” is *really* draining…give yourself some extra slack these days:)

  • Reply
    Melissa
    May 8, 2009 at 7:43 am

    I’m also glad to hear you and your family are in grief counseling and doing it together … no need to ever apologize here for anything — it’s your blog, your community!! You’re doing an amazing job of keeping it together and staying true to yourself.

    Our new stove arrives tomorrow, too — cannot WAIT!

  • Reply
    Fitzalan
    May 8, 2009 at 7:47 am

    I’m impressed how you are able to just recognize how worn out you are both mentally and physically and are able to step back and take time to focus on how to make it through. Hope you were able to enjoy the bath and sleep well.

    Happiness Awaits

  • Reply
    Jess
    May 8, 2009 at 7:56 am

    Good choice on the wine snitch. Robert is one of my faves too. I was so saddened when he passed away last year. Hang in there, and thanks for writing such a wonderful blog, even in this trying time.
    Smiles,
    Jess

  • Reply
    Amanda @ Cakes and Ale
    May 8, 2009 at 11:45 am

    Fro-yo is my go-to mood booster! Glad you went out and got a tasty treat. Hope you feel better this weekend…

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