Happy Friday!
I still have one foot in my new apartment and the other foot (and an arm) in my old house. I just want to be moved in already….and get to decorating, which is what moving is all about anyways…right?
And, oh my, I miss oatmeal and almond butter. This morning I just grabbed what was on the counter, which was an amazing grass bar. Again. And a banana this time. Not bad but I miss an actual breakfast. Note to self: unpack oats today.
My lunch however, was a bit more interesting. I finally chowed down on my favas! Plus almost ALL the heirloom lettuce. I felt like a sea cow in the best way possible.
I mixed a little spinach in there as well as the last babybel cheese and a whole wheat flatbread on the side. The heirloom lettuce didn’t need much…..just a sprinkle of balsamic vinegar and it was good to go. It’s amazing how much better vegetables taste when you know they have just been picked that day. Lettuce in a bag? No comparison.
I was still hungry but pretty much out of food other than this package of Lightlife meatless hot dogs that’s been sitting in the back of my fridge for way too long. Don’t worry, they were still good. I checked.
I was sent these to review on the blog a little over a month ago but secretly I already knew I liked them. I’ve been eating these since college and have always loved them. Each “hot dog” has 8 grams of protein and only 45 calories. I ate two with honey mustard alongside my salad today:
Highly unphotogenic but I never promised that I would eat pretty things every day. I can’t wait until I’m all settled in my new kitchen…….with my garbage disposal!
We are going to be so happy together.
Dexter is moving today. I have a balcony and it’s freaking me out. Do I let him out on the balcony? He can’t squeeze through and obviously he’s incredibly smart so I wouldn’t think he would try to make a break for it and abort ship but…….I’m three floors up. Part of me wants to try to let him out there because he would love to just lay in the sunshine. But I’m scared.Very scared.
I will report back.
megan
May 14, 2010 at 11:38 amdid you put the favas in the salad? raw? I have no idea how to eat them, so I’m just curious.
Beth @ Beth's Journey to Thin
May 14, 2010 at 11:46 ami have never had or seen raw fava seeds before your post yesterday! my CSA starts in two weeks and i cannot WAIT.
i love those hot dogs too! They’re so tasty and so low cal.
Sarah for Real
May 14, 2010 at 11:47 amMy roommate used to have a cat that would hop across to the neighbor’s balcony and go right inside their apartment!
I had to go knock on their door multiple times and retrieve the cat, haha. He never fell off or jumped though if that makes you feel better.
Jessica @ How Sweet
May 14, 2010 at 11:48 amI lived without a garbage disposal for 6 months after we got married an it was not pretty. Enjoy yours!
Evan Thomas
May 14, 2010 at 11:51 amThere’s something so good about homestyle dogs and something for dippage
Gillian
May 14, 2010 at 11:51 amI just moved and have the same situation with my cat – at first when I would let him on the balcony he was kinda scared and would cower in the corner. But over the course of a month he has gotten brave and decided he wants to go get closer to the birds that chirp down on him. He has taken a liking to jumping on the chair – then on to the wide railing – where he sits and makes super weird sounds at the birds. I am scared he will try to lunge at them one day and fall – but I hope his little cat brain knows better.
kalli@fitandfortysomething
May 14, 2010 at 11:53 ami have not had smart dogs in ages…..do not worry about dexter-he is smart. but maybe wait until he is adjusted to the place and smell before he is let out on the balcony…
Whitney @ Lettuce Love
May 14, 2010 at 11:54 amI was scared to let my cat on the balcony too. She has never been outside and I was worried about the crazy birds that would hang out on my railing. She enjoyed the sun from inside 🙂
Raya @ Raya Runs
May 14, 2010 at 11:55 amMy roommate has a cat named Skittles and we used to live on the 2nd story with a balcony. Her cat (when he was a kitten) fell off our balcony twice. He survived no problem, albeit with a few grass stains on his legs. Seriously. Then in our next apartment he fell out of the window twice-the screens were very loose and popped out all the time-Again, he was fine.
And Dexter is probably much smarter than Skittles anyways! There’s a reason I call him “Schizto”….
Camille
May 14, 2010 at 11:55 amI would try sitting out there with him a little bit and see what he does on his own. I wouldn’t worry too much, cats are very smart 🙂
You can always put some sort of barrier up, that’s what people at my apartment complex do!
Diana
May 14, 2010 at 11:56 amMy cat used to love the balcony. He actually freaked me out a lot of times because he would sit on the edge and I was scared he’d fall. He just liked people watching apparently. 🙂
Freya @ Brit Chick Runs
May 14, 2010 at 11:56 amAwh definetly let him on the balcony! It probably won’t help with your worries, but I saw a video of a cat fall something like 60 floors and survive 🙂 cats are clever!
jen trinque @ recipes for creativity
May 14, 2010 at 11:58 amI think if you just sit out with him a few times on the balcony he might just stay. You could always just only let him out if he is supervised.
Kathy W.
May 14, 2010 at 11:58 amI saw a cat fall from a few stories up in our old neighborhood in NYC–and he died on the sidewalk. It was one of the most upsetting things I’ve ever witnessed. So when we moved from Brooklyn to Manhattan, and had a small balcony of our own, I kept our two cats indoors. They had plenty of fun looking at birds through the glass door…
Danielle
May 14, 2010 at 12:01 pmPLEASE be careful with Dexter on the balcony! I hate to be all morbid, but I read somewhere that the number one cause of death for cats in NYC is falling off balconies. And you know those dumb cats…they’ll see a bird and the next you know they are over the edge. Even if you aren’t very high up, there’s still the problem of catching him once he’s outside and on the ground.
Elyse
May 14, 2010 at 12:02 pmHey Jenna,
Put Dexter outside on your balcony with a harness and leash. You can get a small body harness with adjustable straps from the pet store (if they dont have any for cats get one from the small dog area) and a rope-material leash (one that is longer but not stretchy). Attach the leash to a post or around the leg of a chair your sitting on. He will be less likely to slip out of the harness than a neck collar. My indoor cat, Schrute, goes outside on her harness and leash all the time and is just as happy as a clam. Once she tried to bolt after a neighborhood cat off our porch but the harnass and leash held her tight and she came flying backwards like she was on a bungee cord! It was a funny sight, but at least I know the harness and leash combo work like they’re supposed to. 🙂
-Elyse
Meredith @ 23 Going on 60
May 14, 2010 at 12:02 pmI wouldn’t risk leaving Dexter on the balcony by himself. I’d probably let him on the balcony if I was going to be out there with him, but I don’t think I’d leave him to his own devices…I saw the pictures of him scaling the door.
I’d like to think my dog is pretty smart, but if a squirrel/bird/cat goes by she loses all rational sense. I think I would be too scared of all the potential “what if” scenarios to leave him by himself!
ForDGRedial aka Amy
May 14, 2010 at 12:03 pmI believe you can cat-proof balconys fairly easily and cheaply…?
Amy x
Cyclist Kate
May 14, 2010 at 12:03 pmLet the kitty out! He will love it and cats are smart :).
Heather (Heather's Dish)
May 14, 2010 at 12:10 pmso glad you’re almost moved in! i’m sure dexter will be fine, but if it were my cat i probably wouldn’t let him on the porch…i’m just chicken like that!
Mary @ What's Cookin' with Mary
May 14, 2010 at 12:14 pmYAY for the new place !
Diana (mymarblerye)
May 14, 2010 at 12:16 pmI got my bf those hot dogs the other day and he gagged! Not a fan! I’ll try em for myself though before I judge!
eatmovelove
May 14, 2010 at 12:17 pmI don’t see the favas! The ‘dogs look good. Good luck with the move in .
Callina
May 14, 2010 at 12:20 pmCats are smart, and also spry. I bet he would love the balcony! Cats seem to enjoy perching in precarious places…and they always land on their feet! I grew up on a farm with several cats who liked to run atop the porch railing. The only way they would fall is if someone pushed them off.
Nicole
May 14, 2010 at 12:20 pmIn regards to the balcony, cats are smart so I’ll doubt he’ll jump, but if so cats always land on their feet right 😉
Erin (Travel, Eat, Repeat)
May 14, 2010 at 12:22 pmI think Dexter will be fine on the balcony. My cat loved sitting outside in the sun, smelling the flowers on the balcony and listening to the cars go by. He’s smart enough not to jump.
Running Betty
May 14, 2010 at 12:23 pmI have a playhouse in my backyard that is 12′ up on stilts. It was meant for my daughters, but the neighborhood cats sleep on it all day while my kids are at school. No one / nothing has ever died from falling / jumping off of it. Although one mom did get a bruise on her butt when she did NOT listen to my warning that the slide down the front is FAST.
Jil
May 14, 2010 at 12:29 pmThose greens look unbelievable!
Carrie (Love Healthy Living)
May 14, 2010 at 12:35 pmNO cats on the balcony!!! Just my input as a fellow kitty mama.
RED
May 14, 2010 at 12:42 pmI used to let my cat out on the deck when we lived in a place with a round railing on the top and then when we moved the next place had a flat ledge on top which was great ’til he jumped up there and one day fell off (two stories). I now live on the third deck and I definitely do not let him out there now!
Sharon
May 14, 2010 at 12:44 pmHmmm…gotta try those Smart Dogs, I do occasionally enjoy a grilled hot dog in the summertime-as far as Dexter goes I do feel like it’s good for kitties to get outside time…but I have no experience with cats and balconies. Has he ever been an outside cat? Maybe you could just be out there with him watching him until you feel comfortable he wouldn’t do something silly like chase a bird or flying insect right off the balcony….and maybe try the harness thing mentioned.
Lauren @ Health on the Run
May 14, 2010 at 12:46 pmI LOVE those veggie dogs! 🙂 I didn’t like hot dogs even back in my meat eating days, so I was super excited to find that these actually taste good.
Also, maybe just put Dexter out there on a trial basis..and carefully watch him until you’re sure he won’t jump or try to squeeze through. I’m sure he’d love it. 😉 My boyfriend has a cat that he used to allow to sit up on the apartment roof — and there was no railing!! The kitty loved it but I was always terrified. They’re smart creatures though…he knew he was high up and never jumped. 🙂
Lucy
May 14, 2010 at 12:50 pmWe let our cats out all the time and they do just fine! They sometimes jump up on the railing but have never fallen off! We only let them out when we are home and we leave the screen door cracked otherwise they freak out and want to get back in (you know cats, they hate closed doors!). Dexter seems to be a smart lil kitty so I would give it a try – maybe stick with him the first few times to see how he handles it and then give him more freedom if he doesn’t attempt to jump ship:)
Meredith (Pursuing Balance)
May 14, 2010 at 12:51 pmAt my old complex we had balconies, and I heard that cats could jump from balcony to balcony (they were relatively close I guess) . . . it makes me nervous though! I never saw any cats on mine, but I kept having inguanas show up and knock on my glass door like they wanted to come in!
meagan
May 14, 2010 at 12:56 pmwe would let our cat on our balcony. we had solid walls between the other apartment balconies and she couldn’t slip through the fencing. however, we were always home when we let her out there. she loved it. i think it mostly depends on what “type” of cat yours is. felix….well, she’s too lazy to do much but bush her tail up when a bird gets near. if dexter is more adventurous maybe keep a closer eye 🙂
hbobier @ Basil Vodka
May 14, 2010 at 12:59 pmI used to worry about letting my dog out on the patio, too! But animals are smart. They know better.
And we’re only 8 or so feet up, so if Sheldon really wanted to he could jump and be fine. Let me know how Dexter does!
Rachel
May 14, 2010 at 1:04 pmMy cat dove off the 2nd story of my apartment building and went missing for over 2 days.
Keep a watchful eye on him!!!
Shannon, Tropical Treats
May 14, 2010 at 1:11 pmdefinitely keep on eye on dexter! that would be nooooo good.
honey mustard is my favorite condiment. it makes everything taste better!
Cara
May 14, 2010 at 1:12 pmIf you let the cat out you run a risk of him getting away and not finding his way back cause his surroundings are still new.
Spinach+ babybel cheese-= delicious
Do you miss your other place?
Julie
May 14, 2010 at 1:13 pmMaybe put him on a leash + harness (one that can ‘tear away’ in case he gets caught in it) and make sure he can’t reach the railing? I’m sure he’d love sitting in the sunbeams!!
By the way.. thanks for introducing me to almond butter! I actually prefer natural roasted almond butter to natural peanut butter! But I still love my Jif.. haha. Mmm greek yogurt + sliced banana + almond butter == amazing.
KellyB
May 14, 2010 at 1:17 pmDexter will be fine! Smart cats know better than to jump 3 stories. What an amazing thing for him–he’s going to LOVE it!!
Nora@LiveLifeEatRight
May 14, 2010 at 1:19 pmI feel like I’ve been eating like this too because I’m moving this weekend. I’m a happy camper as long as I have food but i always feel better when I eat the hearty foods that I’m craving rather than what is there. I can’t wait to make some oats on my little pointless stove that comes with my shack! Good luck getting settled!
Kristen
May 14, 2010 at 1:21 pmI have a balcony (upstairs) and I was always so worried about letting my cats out there. I slowly let them go out more and more and then love it! They are actually really good. I would just keep an eye on him for a bit and eventually he will learn.
Tara
May 14, 2010 at 1:22 pmI would definitely caution against letting him on the balcony. Cats do fall. If they get startled or see something they want to chase, they will not be the graceful, agile animals we normally see. I’ve seen my extremely graceful, nimble cat fall off of the back of a couch or bed when startled. In addition, if he did leap off the balcony and went for a quick joyride, he could be putting himself at risk for FIV/FeLV (feline AIDS and leukemia). Outdoor cats can pass them on to indoor cats if they come into contact outside. I work with an animal rescue and hear way too many horror stories of cats getting injured or just not coming back home, whether they are smart cats or not. I think the harness/leash idea is a good one. It will take time to train him and patience as well, but it really is the most enjoyable and stress-free way to let him enjoy the outdoors. Please be aware of the risks prior to making a decision. Good luck with whatever you decide!
cindy
May 14, 2010 at 1:24 pmLet him out!! My cat waffles love to go out on the balcony, I even put his litterbox outside!!
Kelly @ Healthy Living With Kelly
May 14, 2010 at 1:29 pmOh my gosh…how on earth have your been living without a garbage disposal?!?! Glad you are getting one in the new place!
Joie
May 14, 2010 at 1:41 pmI have a cat and a balcony and I only let her out there on her leash and harness (haha yes it’s true). She has gotten out there a few times and nearly given me a heart attack (we are six floors up), and once she tried to go through the next door neighbor’s balcony. Mischievous kittys!
amanda
May 14, 2010 at 1:43 pmSounds like things are getting around at your new places.
Jasmine @ Eat Move Write
May 14, 2010 at 1:46 pmDexter might try to jump. My parents cat did and she limped for a week afterwards.
Suzanne de Cornelia
May 14, 2010 at 1:49 pmThanks for the veggie hot dog review. I’ve looked at those so many times and haven’t purchased as uncertain–now I’ll buy and have with TJ’s Aioli Garlic Mustard…yum.
I’d really second the person who mentioned the harness and leash for Dexter on balcony. Pets Unlimited on Fillmore SF is an excellent resource for any info on cats–the entire 2nd floor is an adoption center and the people who work there have told me it is a constant problem that people think their cats are so intelligent (which they are) but leap or fall off balconies/out of apartment windows and die. If it’s a harness–he should be OK as opposed to leash attached to collar. There may also be a boundary spray.
BTW–I found a cool B-Date calculator tool that shows your Life Path Number. Calculated for myself and family. OMG. So right on. Explains a lot. Hmm. In top post:
http://tinyurl.com/oe4ezq
Off to TJ’s!
Shelley
May 14, 2010 at 1:49 pmWe had a cat that would climb her way up the support beam from the first floor balcony to the second floor balcony, and from there could jump on the roof. She was also an indoor/outdoor cat, and grew up that way. If Dexter has no outside or high-places experience, I’d be careful.
Shannon | @spagrl
May 14, 2010 at 1:50 pmGlad you decided not to let Dexter out on the balcony. Was going to tell you a tragic story about a cat and a balcony and a very sad Christmas, but I’ll spare you since you can probably guess the details.
Kellie
May 14, 2010 at 1:54 pmI really like those hot dogs too. So good.
Sarah (Oc2Seattle)
May 14, 2010 at 2:02 pmOur neighbors’ cats roam the neighborhood on a regular basis but they always end up at their home. They tend to “guard” our house quite a bit actually. Hmmm . . . not sure what that tells us.
Rachael
May 14, 2010 at 2:14 pmI love Russian kale. Got a bunch growing outside right now!
As good as they taste, my roommate killed me on Smart Dogs last year when, after a camping trip in the summer heat, she neglected to tell me how many times the package of tubular soy-ness had been refrigerated..and unrefrigerated..and refrigerated. Six days, tons of bacteria and one awesome Exorcist-style vomiting session during Bikram, I recovered from the most wicked case of food poisoning I’ve had to date. Probably TMI, there. But I do remember loving them beforehand 🙂
Marina
May 14, 2010 at 2:15 pmRaw fava? won’t that cause some belly problems? Hopefully not.
Anyways, I adore veggie sausages, I recently discovered them, and they are oh-so-great.
I think Dexter is smart enough not to jump, don’t worry 😉
Lindsey B
May 14, 2010 at 2:29 pmI’m sure everyone is saying this, cats are pretty smart and I’ve only heard of 1 that walked off a table, which seems like a balcony in some aspect… he had many, many problems. I was always fearful for my cat until I realized how much he LOVES outside.. can’t get enough of it really. It’s so nice to let them participate instead of looking through the screen. I do however see the fear of letting them out. It means you’re a good mama!
Hillary
May 14, 2010 at 2:34 pmYou *CAN* let Dexter out on the balcony! Just use chicken wire along the bottom foot or so of the fencing around the edge. Works like a charm, try it!
kelsey@snackingsquirrel.com
May 14, 2010 at 2:57 pmhoney mustard hotdogs!!! YUM! YAY! yea yea let dexter on the balcony 😛
sherri
May 14, 2010 at 3:08 pmnoooooooooooooooo don’t let dexter out unless you screen in the deck. seriously, cats will jump! my neighbor has a screened in sun deck off their house just for their cats. it’s so cool but my hubby will not build me one for our boys. boo! i found some nifty screens that fit across our french doors, so my cats are pretty happy to lay there and sulk when we’re outside. have you ever seen the book the cats’ house? i guarantee none of those cats are missing the great outdoors!
Jessica @ The Process of Healing
May 14, 2010 at 3:30 pmI probably wouldn’t let him out there but then again, my cats would be crazy enough to try to jump off of the balcony most likely.
Amanda
May 14, 2010 at 3:44 pmI know this isn’t for every kitty, and it also *does* look kinda silly sometimes, but my friend has a kitty she prefers to be mostly indoors, and the “mostly” part includes not ever leaving her yard. Well, how do you keep a cat just inside one yard, you ask? She uses a harness. She attaches it to a stable object inside her apartment (or just outside) and he’s able to do a little ‘sploring without getting past the top of the fence in her yard. I imagine it would work equally well with a kitty like Dexter who should hope to be content with his own little sunny balcony. 🙂
Stacy
May 14, 2010 at 3:45 pmI’m glad you got a real lunch in and hopefully you get your oats tomorrow. The hot dog looks interesting – I am kind of intimidated my immitation meat products.
Jen
May 14, 2010 at 3:52 pmI let my kitties out on my back deck (about halfway up to second-story window level), but only when I’m out there with them. Reason being that they have tried to jump off before. But they don’t get down with any funny business when I’m there, even if I’m just lounging and reading a book. Take Dexter out! He will love you even more.
Jennifer
May 14, 2010 at 4:10 pmPut some chicken wire around the bars in the balcony if your afraid! 🙂
Amanda
May 14, 2010 at 4:35 pmI’ve known more than one kitty to jump off a balcony, so I wouldn’t risk it. They may be smart, but sometimes they get too excited by birds. I only ever let my cat out on my balcony at my old place when I was out with her and even then it was only for a few minutes. I wouldn’t want to risk losing her!
Kristin (Cook, Bake and Nibble)
May 14, 2010 at 4:36 pmI love those veggie dogs too! Way better than what real hot dogs are, too 😉
xo
K
Liz
May 14, 2010 at 5:16 pmMy deck is on second floor, and my indoor cats have, to my horror, jumped! The house is on a slope, so some parts of the deck are closer to the ground than are other parts. First they just squeezed through the railing on the areas closer to the ground (still quite a drop)… later on, they jumped up and OVER (what must be a 3 foot railing) and down two storeys!!! Never underestimate a cat’s crazy desire to escape… they’ll do anything.
Lisa (bakebikeblog)
May 14, 2010 at 5:39 pmLove the ‘green’ lunch!!! Good luck with the remainder of the move!
Jen
May 14, 2010 at 6:06 pmPLEASE don’t let Dexter out on the balcony! Cats can experience what is called “high rise syndrome” – basically, their depth perception doesn’t register that they are storys high and they can jump or fall and get seriously injured (they can’t comprehend the difference between jumping from the kitchen counter to the floor vs jumping from several storys up to the ground). Our two cats never go on the balcony – they are perfectly happy sitting on the window ledge to get their fresh air. Indoor cats should stay that way! Be safe, Dexter!
Cynthia (It All Changes)
May 14, 2010 at 6:32 pmI say let him out when you can supervise at first to see what he does. I’m sure he’ll just enjoy the sun.
Staceyhttp://stacey-healthylife.blogspot.com/
May 14, 2010 at 6:36 pmBreakfast need’s to be top priority, you can’t go without a good bowl of oats.
Tracey @ TropicalHappiness
May 14, 2010 at 7:36 pmTOTALLY depends on the cat. I used to live on the third story and had a balcony and my cat LOVED it out there. She was super smart and super graceful. There was a 2 centimeter lip of concrete right on the outside of the balcony bars. She would actually put her little paws through the banister & on the outside of the bars. The first time she did it, it scared me, but then I realized how careful and graceful she was. We would leave her outside for hours (while we were home, of course), and she LOVED it! It was as close to nature as she was going to get being an indoor cat.
After we moved (into our house), we got a second cat. This second cat is goofy and pudgy and not at all graceful. (We love her for this.) I would never, ever, ever let this cat outside on a third story balcony. She’d be smart enough not to climb off the balcony, but I wouldn’t count on her not falling off by accident. Nor would I pretend that she wouldn’t ever get bored and try to climb out of the balcony on a nearby tree, just for fun. She’s goofy like that.
So, in my opinion- it totally depends on the cat. Let him out a few times when you are out there and stay out there with him for every second, until you know how he is going to react. When you know that HE knows the balcony’s boundaries, then you can start letting him out there while you are cooking or sitting inside. GOOD LUCK! Hope he does well!
Tracey @ TropicalHappiness
May 14, 2010 at 7:37 pmPS- if he is too frisky, but you think he would love being out on the balcony, consider getting him a harness and a little leash, so you could hang onto him while he is out there. Of course (I feel silly saying this, because you are smart, duh!), don’t leave him out there in the harness without you being out there, should he decide to make a run for it… LOL.
Amanda@Thegrainsofparadise
May 15, 2010 at 12:10 amTough call on Dexter….I would probably keep him in or buy him a leash and harness? But then again, I’m kind of a crazy cat lady….. I drive my boyfriend nuts because I’m so over protective with our crazy stray cat…..I can’t imagine having a baby lol.
Sarah (Running to Slow Things Down)
May 15, 2010 at 3:26 amThat would worry me about letting a cat out on a deck too. He would love the sunshine but at the same time….scary.
My sister lets her cats out on her deck and they stay put though. And I know some people buy leashes. But once a cat knows what’s outside, it’s so easy for them to slip off pretty easily, I think.
Alina
May 15, 2010 at 5:48 amMy mom lives on the third floor of a condo as well. There is a balcony, but he can’t squeeze through the bottom and the railing is too high for him to jump over. They let him onto the balcony without a leash all the time, and he has the time of his life watching all the birds. However, he is also kind of a scaredy cat and doesn’t want to try to escape anyway. My cat is much more adventurous, so I take him out into the backyard on a leash instead. Maybe you could take Dexter with you and leash him while you read by the pool?
Diana @ frontyardfoodie
May 15, 2010 at 8:08 amTrust me, that cat won’t have a problem with the balcony. My grandma had two cats and was on the sixth floor condo and her cats loved the balcony and never got near to falling.
Laura
May 15, 2010 at 9:28 amAhhh Jenna, you could have had ful medames for breakfast- Egyptian style! Glad to see you don’t have Favism! My Granny used to have loads of broad bean plants in her vegetable patch, and we used to pick and shell them just before dinner. Very destressing… are they rare in the U.S? It sounds like it, whereas in Britain we have year round frozen/tinned supplies in abundance! I’d keep a beady eye on Dexter- some cats have a wish to really test out their nine lives principle, however in one of my London flats I was right across from a house where the 4th story people had 2 cats who would literally lie with their tails off of the window edges. I had my heart in my mouth many times, but they were wiser than I!