Tonight I almost ate a snail.
I’m almost hesitant to share this story because there’s a very strong possibility all of you, my lovely readers, will become incredibly disgusted by me and choose never to read my blog again. Such is a chance I’m willing to take though. This story must be told.
Remember my veggie bag? Everything comes incredibly fresh because its straight from the farm, you know, and they don’t use any icky pesticides or anything to ward off the critters. I’m thankful for this of course. Very thankful. However, one needs to remember that when said vegetables come straight from the farm in their natural and naked state, they also might come with a little extra baggage. Tonight’s extra baggage was a snail part. I say “part” because I think it was the leg. Don’t tell me snails don’t have legs because I don’t want to hear it. I call that slimy thing a leg and that’s what I’m sticking to.
Anyways, I was running my hand down my heirloom lettuce with great care and love this evening in my new kitchen. I could almost taste the crispness of it and knew all the manatees out there would be especially proud.
But then my middle finger brushed down on something slimy.
Something foreign.
Something……soft.
Ever being Laura Ingalls Wilder, I quickly asked myself what should I do in this situation. Laura would not waste vegetables meant to feed and nourish the body because of one little escape critter that happened to latch himself on to a lettuce leaf. No, Laura would be strong and courageous in a moment like this. I took a deep breathe. And then, with exuberant glory, I used my brand new garbage disposal to puree the snail leg.
I then washed the lettuce and ate it. Every last leaf.
{ 75 comments… read them below or add one }
That’s what happens when your produce is straight from a garden! A bug or two won’t hurt ya
I grew up on a farm- nothing about this post is gross! I think it’s actually very normal!!
I love that you have a cheese love affair! I do too…I even bought books and begged to work in the cheese department in my grocery store. Honestly, is there anything better than bread, cheese and wine? Maybe if you throw some chocolate in there…but still.
I thought you were going to write about trying escargot for the first time when I started to read your post! Definitely not! I think you mustered far more of your inner Laura Ingalls Wilder than I ever could have managed in that situation. Slimy things on food give me the willies!
ummmmmm im thinkin a leech? EEK but whatevaa at least you didn’t bite into it!!
Just some extra protein? Haha, good for you! I might’ve tossed it all down the disposal myself. Something about it being just a piece of a snail that gets me…
I found a neon green worm in my lettuce last summer. It survived for a week in the refrigerator before I found it… still very much alive and on my fork!
Haha, I think it is called the “foot” but you can call it a leg.
We joined a CSA last year and have had a few similar experiences . . . part of getting it directly from the farm
I wash everything and look carefully now !
This happened to me on Sunday! We also get local, seasonal, organic veggies and while eating a salad on Sunday, I happened to notice a teeny green inch-worm madly trying to escape my fork!!! Thank goodness I saw him. Of course, this was after I washed the lettuce thoroughly and it had sat in the fridge for almost a week. That’s one long-living inchy!
Your story is similar to what we’ve been experiencing. This is my first year to grow veggies, and this spring I’ve been harvesting lettuce. Well…cleaning lettuce is an art form that I have previously not appreciated. The first three salads from the garden had some sort of critter before I figured out the washing technique of soak, swish, swish, swish and then inspect. Time consuming, but fresh salads are worth it.
You were brave to keep eating the lettuce!
I would bet it was a baby slug. Snails don’t come apart very easily. I almost swallowed a pinscher bug one time-so you’re in good company!
I think that is more than okay & probably very normal! I probably would have thrown away the part of the leaf I found it on, but I have had an aversion to slugs & snails ever since my roommate & I discovered a HUGE one living in my soap bottle in our shower last year (actually when I was in Charleston… & that creepily returned twice & multiplied after we threw it out b/c we couldn’t bring ourselves to kill it. ew.ew.ew.)
Jenna, You are hilarious! I love how in every post there is at least one line that makes me laugh out loud. Glad you felt the snail leg on your finger instead of your tongue! Icky!
So they were trying to give you a little protein with your veggies?
I suppose it might be better to get your protein elsewhere…! I love when you compare your self to Laura Ingalls, this was such a cute post.
I totally would have just washed and eaten that lettuce, too! Bugs crawled all over it when it was in a field somewhere; it’s not like that one that made it to your kitchen made that big of a difference.
Thanks for the shot out girly
omg this happened to me!! my neighbor (bless his soul) brought me some of his fresh lettuce over which IS HUGE bigger than me.. lol! and he doesnt use any fertilizer..very eco … so i was washing up the leaves but realized (omg, ew theres like 10,000 slugs in here) and i hestitated eating it but was very careful to watch each leaf… all was good… except the next night my mom made a big salad for dinner and i started eating it when i looked down and noticed the fattest baby slug on my fork. i almost hurled and wondered if i had swallowed one before without noticing (turns red because im pretty sure i did)… and my mom was like “oh.. i guess i didnt wash the lettuce very well” !!! lol
I have definitely found some little creatures in my organic farmers market veggies but washed them well and ate them. It is reassuring to know that they aren’t pesticide covered!
Dude I’ll raise you one. My roommate and I were separating the lettuce that we bought from our market the other day before we washed it, and out of the middle of a pile jumps a FROG. Right onto our kitchen table!
Haha… I would have done the same thing, after I ran and hid from the possible creature hiding in my produce. Some things are too good to let a critter ruin them…
Congrats on the fundraising so far!! I’m in Canada so I can’t win the bike, but I’m gonna try and donate before Thursday anyways!
At least you found it BEFORE biting into it- eeek!! Great news about the fundraising… I am just catching up on weekend blog reading and oh my gosh, what a mess. The whole point of an event for charity is well, the charity, and you are obviously committed to that! I hope people eventually see the good and realize blog does not equal life.
HAHAHAHA OH NO!!! Snails are not good dinner food – well unless they are cooked french-style with lots of butter and garlic
Congrats on the fundraising–and the white & grey backgrounds are a very nice backdrop for your photos!
I haven’t spied bug-body parts in my greens. But did have a giant grasshopper fly in the door I’d just opened for a repairman and down the top of my sun-dress. I was 9-months PG and started screaming, jumping up and down, and shaking my dress to evict the creepy-crawler. The repairman stood there bug-eyed until the gigantic creature flew down–and then back out the open front door. Only then did he understand that I hadn’t gone into labor or something.
Hahaha, oh my gosh! Great story
When they say “organic,” they ain’t kiddin’! Good job not wasting the greens.
ha ha how funny. I would have never of thought to put the bugger in the garbage disposal. What a funny story.
eh, you washed the lettuce off…no harm, no foul!
I once found a dead fly in my bagged lettuce. I always wash that stuff!
You’re a stronger woman than I am. I’d have trashed that piece. I don’t do well with bugs, though.
So glad you decided to raffle off the bike. Definitely a mea culpa to your readers! Hope you reach your $5k goal.
Haha this reminds me of when I was little and used to live in England. There were tons of snails in our backyard all the time. One time my sister was annoying me so I picked one up, threw it at her and it suctioned to her leg. Random story!
Ick! That reminds me when, many years ago I was eating with my family and went to shovel a fork full of corn into my mouth when I noticed a dead grub in it! YUCK!
Of course, I just picked it out, shuddered, and continued eating…
Haha. Be STRONG Laura Ingles Wilder!
Ehhhh bugs are protein aren’t they….? Too funny
I just got a salad spinner and cannot wait to test it out: sans slime salad.
Do you rememeber nickalodean when they used to “slime” people? why was that so entertaining?
((if you’re anywhere near a Haagen-Daz, they have having free scoop day; check out my post for details- I won’t put the title name here, it’s too adult…))
As long as you didn’t eat the snail leg… The one time I ate escargot, I was too nervous to just put it in my mouth so I put it on a piece of baguette and ate it like a sandwich.
I eat cheese by the block…so just try to beat me
and …2 slices of bread overlapping it …
Ewww…do you just eat the lettuce on its own? I’m not a big lettuce person – in salads yes – but even then i prefer tons of veget’s and cheese
Better bugs than drugs!
LOL that was funny, you don’t have to be disgusted in Spain they it snails everyday, my father lives in Barcelona now, so evrytmie I sleak to him and I am askinghey dad how are you, he answers, I am good, girl, having another beer with grilled snails!!
yeah, so I suppose they are not so bad! 
lol such a funny story! At least you kept the lettuce. I would have so thought it was contaminated and chucked it away. Good use of the garbage disposal though! Congrats on the bike raffle. I so hope it reached the $5000 mark.
You had me LOLing ;P
I’m with you… wash the lettuce and eat it !! I mean, it does come out of the ground… there may be a bug or two hehe
Eh– it happens! Lucky you to get the produce straight from the farm, slugs and all!
JENNA!! (i’m writing in all caps to get your haha). BEING FROM VT aka COW COUNTRY… CHEESE IS KIND OF A BIG DEAL, HAHA. I WAS READING THE LOCAL HIPPY PAPER THE OTHER DAY AND THIS ARTICLE REALLY TUGGED AT MY CHEESE LOVIN HEART STRINGS. SUCH A COOL LADY WITH A GREAT CREATIVE JUICE AND A PASSION FOR ALL THINGS CHEESEY. MUST READ!! MAYBE ITLL HELP YOUR “RESEARCH” FOR THE NEXT POSTY, HEHE. LOVE YOU AND YOUR LOVE FOR FROMAGE. SALUT!
MA
LILPAULADEAN.WORDPRESS.COM
PS: I didnt mean to write all of that in caps but didnt look up at the screen until i had written 3/4s. apologies for the obnoxious looking tone-to you and all readers.
Oh yuck! I probably would have screamed and dropped all the lettuce in the garbage disposal!
A little slime won’t hurt ya. We have a veggie garden, and it never fails that a little visitor or two shows up at some point when I’m washing the goods.
Whenever I get corn from my CSA, I remove the husks while wearing dish washing gloves because there are always caterpillars hiding underneath. A little corn for me, a little for the critters.
Surprised you didn’t heat up some butter sauce and go to it:)
We got a fruit tart from our favorite bakery years ago, and a worm crawled out of the raspberry. It was all good though because it just shows how natural the fruit was- at the time it was the only bakery we knew that went straight to the farm to get their fruits!
Snail part? No big deal!
you were very brave to continue eating. hahah. at least you know it was very fresh. ahha
For what its worth, I love snails. Well, the escargot kind. I first had them in London at this great gastro pub, and then again at this great little French bistro in Park Slope, Brooklyn called AOC Bistro. MMMmmm snails with lots of garlic, parsley and butter, so so so good! I’m going to be dreaming about them all day now!
Hahaha I made some amazing roast broccoli with some fresh broccoli I picked up at the Farmer’s market last week. I ate half of it for dinner, then had the other half at lunch the next day. Yeah, literally after I finish my last piece of broccoli, I looked and realize that there was a tiny roasted caterpillar/grub type critter at the bottom of the container.
I guess it’s the trade off, you don’t eat chemicals, but you do eat a few bugs!
Well – you know it’s fresh when….
wow. that’s pretty fucked up. why not just put it outside instead of putting it in the disposal?? and if it was just a “leg”, it was probably a slug. not a snail.
you are much braver than i am…i would have thrown the whole thing out. kinda makes me shiver thinking about it…
You are very brave Jenna! I think I would have screamed and thrown the lettuce out the window
Lol! I have had several instances like that with our farmer’s market produce. Would rather have bugs to wash off rather than chemicals, for sure!
Hope we still get that tour of the new place! (Hint, hint…)
I love this post. We complain all the time (for good reason) about pesticides, etc. Then, if something natural gets on our food, it would be wrong to panic. Cheers to you and I’m glad you ate it
Have a great day!
Wow Jenna, I’m not sure I could’ve stomached the lettuce after that! But go you!
I just wish I wasn’t eating when I read that post.
Ugghg that sucks…now if it was snails in a French place than it would have been no biggie lol
On other big reason to wash your produce. I will remember the slimy leg as I process my produce from now on.
Your post totally made me laugh! Too funny!
No worries…I would have done the same thing with the lettuce…too good to let it go to waste!
So quick question: I noticed a lot of people seem to be eating millet bread. Now, millet is delicious and I’m sure it tastes great, but I was just wondering- are there other nutritional benefits? Is it better for you than, say, whole wheat bread or Ezekiel bread?
Just curious…
Honestly, I eat it because it tastes amazing! Its a bit more dense and sweet than regular bread and it is absolutely perfect toasted with peanut butter. Its also gluten free–not that I need to eat gluten free food–but for some this comes in very handy.
Ha! Didn’t gross me out! But when I was in high school, my then-boyfriend and his mom went to Europe for a summer trip. She freaked out when they were eating at a cafe because she had gotten a salad and there was a living snail in it. THAT would freak me out a little, I must say! But, hey, at least she knew that the salad was super fresh!
lol, hilarious! I’m glad you were able to stay strong and power through the evening
I, on the other hand, don’t know if I would’ve been so strong hehe. But alas, I’d rather see insect parts than dirty nasty chemicals I guess.
When I lived in San Diego, I used to pick up these *amazing* organic strawberries from this one farmer. I swear I’ve never had strawberries so good in my life. A deep red all the way through and super sweet. So sweet it was like 3 strawberries in one. Anyway, sometimes they’d come home with an ant or a cricket or something and I didn’t think it was *too* big of a deal because, they were organic, nature has some bugs, right?
But one day I got them home, excited as always and I cut into the first one and it had WORMS! Tiny white wiggly worms. Grossed out, I tossed it and cut into the next one- also full of worms!!!! They were all full of worms. I tossed the whole pint and never bought from that farmer again. Bleh.
The only place I want to see snails is when served escargot. Kudos to you for soldiering through and eating the offended lettuce anyway
Nice pic of you and the Boyfriend in the background! Adam is a cutie!
Your very brave to still eat the salad.
Why is commentor #55 using foul language in their post?
Way to go beyond our oft overly-sanitized culture. Nothing gross about bugs- in Malawi, lake fly pie is a pretty good source of protein – when clouds of lake flies come to shore, kids will run up and smoosh ‘em together to make “pie”.
Impossible to gross me out – dumpsters are a mainstay in my food foraging world.
I miss the wood floor too
Always will. But I can’t wait to see more of the new place!
I’ve gotten a few lady bugs and alligator looking caterpillars in my veggies. It happens, but just shows you how get those veggies really are. Who could blame such a critter for wanting to call them home?