Good morning!
Thank you all for the sweet comments last night regarding my move…..most of my stuff was over at Ryan’s anyway so there really wasn’t much work involved but it does feel kind of cool to call it home. I did receive sort of a snarky comment about how I claim to always be so religious and yet am moving in with my boyfriend and although I know I don’t HAVE to answer this, I want to. To set the record straight: I am NOT religious. I have a LOT of faith. Everyone makes decisions that are beneficial to them and every person is different. What works for someone doesn’t work for someone else and I don’t think there’s one right way of doing everything. I know it is the right decision to move in with Ryan….we have been dating now for 3 years and God put him in my life for a reason. Please don’t come at me with one sided perspectives—you don’t know the whole picture and you don’t know what I’ve just been through.
Okay, with THAT off my chest, let’s move on to breakfast!
Last night I soaked 1/3 cup oats + 1 tbsp Ruth’s Chia Breakfast Cereal with 1/2 cup vanilla coconut milk. This morning I stirred in 1/2 cup 0% Fage, some raspberries and a big scoop of raw almond butter for “overnight chia oats”…it was delicious! I’m more of a fan of hot breakfasts than cold ones because naturally I’m always chilly, but this is a great alternative and I can see myself eating a lot of during the hot summer months.
Some people have also asked about Mikey, Mikan and Dexter…the three stooges! Mikan and Mikey live with my parents……my mom and dad LOVE that tiny little furball because of all the meaning it has to my brother. Ryan and I adopted Dexter a little over a year ago together but this is the first time the three of us are living together as a little family. Don’t worry, there will still be tons of Mikey pictures…..my parents only live 3 miles away and I will be over there every day.
My parents are going to church this morning but I’m just not ready to go back into the sanctuary where the service was held for John only a few short days ago. I’ll figure things out in my own time but as for this morning, I’m headed to a 9 am Bikram class to sweat it out.
hk
May 3, 2009 at 5:55 amGoood for you, jenna! Stick to your guns and have a great sunday- enjoy yoga!! Breakfast bowl looks awesome, too- I’m craving a good oatmeal, chia, fage “sludge” myself 🙂
Beadie
May 3, 2009 at 5:55 amForget the naysayers, Jenna. You rock on with living YOUR life!!
Moran (The Running Addict)
May 3, 2009 at 6:01 amGood Sunday to you Jenna! You are such a sweet Christian girl and there is no doubt in me that you moving in with Ryan is the right thing do to!
Enjoy yoga!
Jenny
May 3, 2009 at 6:03 amJenna,
Thanks so much for addressing that comment (although in general I agree with not even giving negative comments a response!). It really bothers me when people use religious faith as a way to judge other people, and you said it perfectly – everyone is different and should be able to interpret and use their faith as they feel it in their hearts. Good for you. I really like also how you are using the tragedy of your brother’s death as time to create change based on the things you really value (a job you love, Ryan, raising money for his foundation). You rock!
Loyal reader Jenny
Gina G
May 3, 2009 at 6:04 amgood morning jenna! i just wanted to say that don’t ever let anyone make you feel bad about your choices, they are only yours to make. i think it is wonderful that you and ryan are taking this next step in your life, your words to describe him have been nothing short of extraordinary! keep your head up and your faith high girl =)
*Andrea*
May 3, 2009 at 6:11 amew did you seriously get comments like that??? some people are just insecure and jealous of you for sure! you’re making the right move for YOU and YOUR relationship and it does not reflect poorly on you at all. i think you can be religious and still not adhere to 100% of all the doctrines of a religion – i like this quote from the bible: “Let him who is without sin cast the First Stone.”
Michelle
May 3, 2009 at 6:15 amI think it’s good that you’re doing thing for you. It doesn’t suprise me that you got a comment like that…there are a lot of people who live by ‘rules’. I think that most important thing is that you do this for the right reasons at the time. You shouldn’t put time constraints or outside influence on what you know is right in your heart. I am glad that you’re doing this. How are you parents feeling about you moving out? Are they going to be ok?
Courtney (The Hungry Yogini)
May 3, 2009 at 6:16 amGood for you Jenna! I would have to agree with you…I’m not a religious person either, but spiritual in a different way. I’m so proud of you for making the decision that is right for you! Your life is just beginning and I know this is a step in the right direction.
Have fun at Bikram!!
Katie
May 3, 2009 at 6:24 amAs others have said, I can not believe that someone is judging you for your decision to move in with your boyfriend. You are doing what’s right for you, and that’s all that matters.
Susan
May 3, 2009 at 6:25 amThat’s the great thing about faith, you can mold it in way so it suits your own personal needs and beliefs. I think it’s AWESOME that you and Ryan are moving in together, especially after everything you’ve been through. Enjoy yoga!
Meghann
May 3, 2009 at 6:26 amI love your response to that snidy commentor.. you tell them Jenna! I can’t wait to come visit you at your ‘new’ condo! and you, Ryan and Dexter need to take a family portait and hang it over the fireplace. 🙂 Love you guys!!
Megan
May 3, 2009 at 6:27 amHi Jenna! about the not so nice comment you recieved.. its your life.. you do what you feel is right! You deserve it to yourself to be happy! You are in my thoughts 😀 and good luck with your move, its so exciting!!
Glidingcalm
May 3, 2009 at 6:28 amha! I’ve been waiting for you to move in with Ryan! and I was so sad when you were so far away from him all those months!! HURRAY!
weight and meditate
May 3, 2009 at 6:29 amJenna, you have every right to move in with your boyfriend of 3 years and in my opinion that absolutely does NOTHING to dissolve your faith or God’s love for you, ridiculous! You do what you know is right in your heart.
Yes, please keep the pictures of Mikey coming, he’s adorable!
Julie
May 3, 2009 at 6:33 amGood for you Jenna. You have every right to move in with your boyfriend and be happy. You just went through the worst possible tragedy and having this kind of comfort in your life is something you obviously need. You deserve to be happy, and don’t let anyone make you feel other wise!
Sarah (lovINmytummy)
May 3, 2009 at 6:36 amPersonally, I think calling someone else’s faith into question, internally or publicly (even worse) is about the must judgmental and non-Christian things a person can do.
It pained me to see you feel like you need to label yourself as not religious, but having faith. Don’t let someone corner you or make you define YOUR relationship with God! It’s just that, YOUR relationship.
You love God and He loves you. That is all that matters.
Caitlin
May 3, 2009 at 6:36 amEw, I can’t believe someone commented like that! Get a life!
megan
May 3, 2009 at 6:40 amJenna, it makes me so angry that someone would be judgmental of your choices, especially after the hell you have been through, and you should not have to justify yourself to anyone. Good for you to follow your heart and we all know through reading your blog that moving in with Ryan and being with him for support every day is absolutely the right choice for you.
jsr
May 3, 2009 at 6:48 amGood for you Jenna! All that matters is that you do what works for you. I am a teacher and as we say at school, “if you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all.”
Meghan
May 3, 2009 at 6:52 amJenna, you are so strong for doing what’s right for YOU, whether is be moving in with Ryan or realizing you aren’t ready to head back to chuch. You are an inspiration.
Colleen
May 3, 2009 at 6:58 amCongrats on moving in with Ryan! My hubby and I lived together for 4 years before we got married…and we’ve been together for about 8 years now (I know, if you do the math it seems like we moved in together right after we met, and we basically did…my parents moved to FL 3 months after Michael and I met, so it was either stay here with him or move!). I’ve never looked back, he’s my rock and my best friend! Thinking of you and praying for your family every day. Lots of love to you Jenna!
Rebeca
May 3, 2009 at 7:06 amI totally agree with you! I’m pretty sure God told us not to judge one another as well… so we have to let each other make our own decisions!
I think it’s great, btw! You should take pics of your kitchen full of appliances 🙂
I love overnight oats… they’re my summer go-to (when I don’t feel like waking up my neighbors to the sound of the blender of course lol).
Jenny
May 3, 2009 at 7:06 amHey Jenna, I really respect your view of faith, and appreciate you being willing to share it! I think the move-in with Ryan is going to be great for y’all, I only have the highest hopes!
Enjoy yoga this morning!
Rachel
May 3, 2009 at 7:08 amI’ve gotten comments like that when I told everyone I was moving in with my boyfriend. We have been together almost as long as you and Ryan and it just felt right. You don’t have to answer to anyone. Have a good day Jenna!!
Heather
May 3, 2009 at 7:12 amAbsolutely ridiculous that someone would judge your decision to move in with your boyfriend! I moved in with mine after dating for a year and I know my (ultra religious & conservative) family judged me for it and my grandma even gave me a lecture about the birds and the bees (super embarassing at 22 years old!!!) but overall I think they realized that I am an adult and I know how to make smart decisions.
I think I finally need to jump on the chia bandwagon. I can’t get behind overnight oats – I’ve tried those, soaked with the coconut milk yogurt, and soaked/blended oat groats – something about the texture is off to me, but chia pudding? Looks divine. Those are some beautiful raspberries, too. I got some Florida fresh blueberries yesterday so I think a bowl of blueberry oats is in my future 🙂
Katrina (gluten free gidget)
May 3, 2009 at 7:19 amAll I have to say to that person is “Judge not lest ye be judged”! Have a wonderful day!
meg
May 3, 2009 at 7:19 amCongrats on moving in with Ryan! Only you know what is right for you!!! Enjoy your yoga class.
K
May 3, 2009 at 7:21 amI think it’s great that you and Ryan are moving in together!! You guys, from what I can tell on the blog, have a fantastic relationship and deserve each other! Wishing you both the best 🙂
Faith C.
May 3, 2009 at 7:22 amJenna,
I missed last night’s post but wanted to say congrats on the move! I’ve lived with my boyfriend (now fiance) for 8 years and it’s really been the best decision ever. Don’t listen to what one snarky person -there’s no way they can know your life and besides, they were obviously confused, as you said,at the difference between “religious” and “having faith”. I hope you and Ryan enjoy each others company even more now and have fun settling in!
Still Life in South America
May 3, 2009 at 7:30 amDon’t let judgmental commenters bother you, Jenna. It’s a shame people think they have some rightful input in your life just because you share your thoughts with us.
And thank you for sharing your life with us each day. You are an inspiration. Ryan sounds like a really thoughtful and kind man, and I’m happy for you both.
Meredith (Pursuing Balance)
May 3, 2009 at 7:36 amCongrats on moving in together!!! Don’t let that snarky comment get you down!
Joy
May 3, 2009 at 7:39 amI will never understand people who use their own religion, that not everyone else follows, to judge others. That’s all I have to say about that. ANYWAYS i’m glad dexter will be moving back in with you! i’ve missed his pictures and i’m sure you’ve missed him. have fun at bikram!
Sandy
May 3, 2009 at 7:47 amJenna~sorry someone left you a nasty comment..There’s alway’s a few bad apples in the bunch..
You’re an awesome girl, and I admire you for sharing your faith..
I agree with Sarah(lovINmytummy)it’s YOUR relationship with God..
You’re in my thought’s and Prayers throughout the day..
I know moving in with Ryan is a good choice for you..and of course Dexter will be happy to finally have you at home..
Take care..
caitlin
May 3, 2009 at 7:47 ami think its ironic how people who claim to be religious are so judgemental. i am happy to addressed this comment because unfort i’m sure others were thinking it.
moving in with kristien before we got married was the best thing we ever did. it made us happier, richer, and more content. we know each other so well now and can support each other through anything. i truly see a deep and loyal love between you and ryan. he is an amazing person, friend, and boyfriend and i wish you guys so much happiness.
love you!!!
Angelea
May 3, 2009 at 7:50 amKeep your head up and ignore, Jenna!
Only YOU knows what’s best for YOU and that’s all that matters.
Enjoy the yoga…glad to see you back at it!
Lori
May 3, 2009 at 7:50 amJenna,
I am sorry you had to read nasty comments like that Jenna.
I lived with my husband before we married as well. We lived in different states when we met but we kept in touch… and we just couldn’t be apart anymore! We now have been married for seven happy years!
Although I could care less what people think now, at the time we both felt a little strange (like people may judge us) while attending church every Sunday. No one ever said anything rude though and we eventually married in that same church a year later. True Christians do not judge but they love and show kindness. You and Ryan have a bond that most people only wish to find in their lifetimes and I am happy for you both!
I am planning on getting a CPR certification this summer through my college and while I was looking at some classes yesterday I thought about you. I don’t know if you would be interested in something like that when you have some free time?
Lori
Mara @ What's For Dinner?
May 3, 2009 at 7:51 amSorry about the negativity… some people really suck sometimes. I like your distinguishing between having faith and being religious. Theres a HUGE difference!
Sarah
May 3, 2009 at 7:56 amIt’s funny how someone can claim to be so religious in one breathe and then in the next one they are judging the action’s of others! I grew up going to mass every week and what I took away from it was the power of God’s love and the importance of acceptance and forgiveness. It’s really hard to reconcile that with all the judgement and rules that people use against each other in the name of religion.
Anyways, I’m just ranting now. What I want to say is that is it obvious (more than obious!) that you have a lot of Faith, you have a strong relationship with God, and you are a really good person. Don’t ever feel guilty for the choices you make. And certainly do not feel the need to defend them to people who are so close-minded.
Sarah (now in FL)
May 3, 2009 at 8:09 amI agree with everyone else. I am glad you are getting this type of overwhelmingly positive feedback. No one knows the situation and it’s simply not their place to judge you or your choices. I’m glad you will be living with Ryan who loves you so much. (Also, I am selfishly excited because he has a pool and I am hoping we can spend some quality friend time out there…you know…)
Also, you shouldn’t have to justify your life choices on YOUR blog. I honestly can’t believe someone left a snarky comment for you after all you’ve been through in the last week. To this reader: don’t you think it would be better to demonstrate Christ’s compassion than what you think is his judgement, especially considering the circumstances??
Amanda
May 3, 2009 at 8:09 amFaith and belief are extremely personal, subjective things. One person deriding another over it is pretty much the last thing God would want, in my opinion.
The only thing I think God cares about is this: are you a good person? Are you kind to everyone and care for humanity? You obviously do, Jenna, and everything else in your personal life is your business, not the business of some judging reader who feels they need to project their version of what it is to have faith on to you.
People need to spend more time worrying about their own lives than the lives of others. I think your snarky commenter should consider what God would think of her saying hurtful things to another person.
Nicole
May 3, 2009 at 8:11 amHi Jenna
I went through this same exact thing when my boyfriend and I moved in together 4 years ago. My family became born again christians after my father died. It was hard feeling like I was being judged by my own family, but they soon realized what’s right for them is not necessarily what’s right for me and vise-versa.
You’re doing the right thing…and that is what’s right for you.
KEEP SMILING!
BTW I was a Creative writing minor in college! I focused on short stories…keep up with those journals!!
SMGirl
May 3, 2009 at 8:19 amI know it’s hard to ignore nasty comments. I know those types of comments get under my skin and I think about them for days. Just know that this is your decision to make. “Religious” people who pass judgement to the point of causing another pain aren’t really religious at all.
Hangry Pants
May 3, 2009 at 8:20 amPeople are so rude. You tell them!!!!!
Alyssa
May 3, 2009 at 8:26 amYou go Jenna!
Help Meghan Run
May 3, 2009 at 8:28 amYou go Jenna. 🙂 You’re doing what’s right for you, and we’re all behind you.
www. HelpMeghanRun .com
PRT
May 3, 2009 at 8:30 amSweetheart, do whatever you want! It’s your life and no-one should ever tell you what to do with it. If you feel the move is a good thing and it feels good in your heart, do it by all means.
Justy2003
May 3, 2009 at 8:30 amCongrats on moving in with Ryan! My now-fiance and I moved in together back in October after we’d been dating for over 6 years. I say it was about time 😉 Some of the family wasn’t/isn’t thrilled about it, but they don’t mention it really. We’ve been dating forever, are now engaged, and we’re old enough to make these decisions. I think after you’ve been together for so long and are committed to each other, you know where the path is heading and I it doesn’t make a big difference if there’s a license saying you’re married. Your feelings and commitment for each other are still the same regardless.
DrMom
May 3, 2009 at 8:32 amFollow your heart! My husband and I lived together for 2 years and have been married for 26. We were happy then and are happy now. You have been through so much. Just be happy.
jessnyc
May 3, 2009 at 8:38 ampeople are always going to have their opinions, glad to see you sticking by what you know is good for you! don’t let anyone get in your way 🙂 also breakfast looks yummy! i’ve always wondered, what kind of difference does soaking the oats make?
xoxo
Jennifer
May 3, 2009 at 8:45 amI’m so sorry you got a mean comment. Try not to think about it. Personally, I’m so happy for you and I think this is the perfect time for you to move in with him so he can give you support. Remember how many people are behind you 100%.
Anais
May 3, 2009 at 9:10 amBikram is going to feel so amazing! It always helps me anyways, mentally and physically 🙂 And I think moving in with Ryan sounds like a great idea! He seems like an amazing guy!
Christine
May 3, 2009 at 9:10 amI’m glad you addressed the snarky comment!! You are a wonderful person, you have great opinions about food, you make AWESOME food, and we are privileged to receive whatever insight to your personal life that you feel like sharing. AND you should NOT be judged for it!!! Therefore have a great time moving in with Ryan and beginning this new chapter in your lives together!!
Kimberly
May 3, 2009 at 9:17 amWell, you go, girl. You are a beautiful example of a true Christian, because as you said, you are confident enough in YOUR faith to think critically about religion and decide which aspects work for you. You clearly live a life guided by ethics, love, and kindness, while this so-called “Christian” is apparently just filled with self-righteous intolerance.
Red Head, Yellow Dog
May 3, 2009 at 9:20 amYou tell em Jenna!! Your faith is your own personal thing and for them to comment about it is completely uncalled for! Enjoy your new home! I know moving in with my boyfriend was one of the best things that I ever did! Have fun!
Beth
May 3, 2009 at 9:27 amJenna – I didn’t live with my husband before we were married in August – I did this not only for my religious beliefs, but also because I knew that it would take away from the excitement of living together once the wedding happened. Of course so many people these days do live together before they’re married, but in my opinion, it really takes away a big part of what marriage is all about. And, of course, living together insinuates that you’re sleeping together outside of that covenant, which Christians are going to look down upon.
At the end of the day though, do what feels right in your heart. You clearly have a good head on your shoulders and have thought this decision through. It’s a blessing to go to sleep and wake up with your best friend everyday… even more so when you’re going through a tough time. Wishing you all the best in the months ahead. God bless you, Jenna!!
Ann
May 3, 2009 at 9:38 amI’m so proud of yourself for sticking with your decision! You’re doing what is best for you, and that’s respectable. 🙂
Brie
May 3, 2009 at 9:41 amJenna, don’t let them get you down. You deserve all the happiness in the world, and it looks like Ryan brings that to you in spades. Keep your chin up–you’re wonderful.
Maybe I missed it, but I thought you and your parents were getting your tattoos yesterday? What happened? I was looking forward to seeing them!
jenna
May 3, 2009 at 10:16 amBrie,
We had to make appointments and are going on Wednesday! I can’t wait.
Sara
May 3, 2009 at 9:46 amNicely stated, Jenna! Congrats on the move. Breakfast looks yummy…I think I have those same bowls. 🙂
Hallie
May 3, 2009 at 9:46 amHonestly Jenna, I was wondering if someone would give you crap like that, with you being so open on the blog (which is great, IMO). People are really amazing. When I moved in with my BF, some people asked me how my parents felt about that (uhh…people who clearly had never met my parents and don’t know MY story) and I hesitated telling certain friends who I knew would not approve. My answer was always what you said: different people do different things, and this is what works for us. And I’m glad you mentioned it, because then I get to read all the comments from other co-habitaters (that’s so not a word!) and it makes me feel more normal!
Happy Sunday, girl. 🙂
Kristine
May 3, 2009 at 9:47 amI think you are flat out awesome. Enough said. 🙂 🙂
Jewels
May 3, 2009 at 9:54 amYou don’t have to explain anything to anyone- I’m so happy your doing what is best for you.
You are in my thoughts, I know sometimes things get harder in the weeks after.
sue
May 3, 2009 at 10:06 amYes, thinking of you in the weeks and months to come.Some tough times ahead for you and all who loved John.It will make you treasure the happy moments as well as memories even more.
I found after the death of my best friend that life almost became clearer and more focused,like from black and white to color.
Moving can be a teeny stressful too even though one may be as happy as clams…it’s just the adjusting to new rhythms and patterns in life.I have a feeling it will be so comforting for you that it will be a quick adjustment to cohabitation.
Best wishes to you and your man(and Dexter!)
Jennifer
May 3, 2009 at 10:22 amI think you did what is best for you and I hate that others are being so judgmental. If you are confident in your relationship with Ryan then why not take the next step. My parents actually wanted me to live with my boyfriend before considering marriage and moving in together was one of the best decisions in my opinion. Good luck with the move!
Becca
May 3, 2009 at 11:18 amYou are amazing Jenna! I recently discovered your blog and you are such an inspiration. You are truly beautiful inside and out! Stay strong and know that there are many people that look forward to your positive posts…you make a difference! While I totally enjoy the information you share about food, etc what keeps me coming back is your positive spirit (and your family is amazing as well.) I’m glad you didn’t let that silly comment about moving in with your boyfriend impact you too much. It amazes me sometimes what some people say.
jane
May 3, 2009 at 11:54 amit is so rude when anonymous commenters make horrible insinuations when they don’t even know you! i recently made the decision to move in with my bf of two years and have also gotten negative feedback from conservative Christians. it’s really frustrating! i totally agree with you that you can have faith, love God, and love others (and be a good Christian!) regardless of who you live with and when! good for you for standing up for yourself and i hope that you enjoy your new living arrangements 🙂
Kelly
May 3, 2009 at 1:14 pmI think some people may be surprised because the last time you talked about moving in with Ryan you decided you couldn’t do it because of your faith/religious beliefs. Its completely your decision obviously, but is somewhat of a change. Not that this is any excuse for people to judge you!! Especially at a time like this. Best of luck with everything –
Samantha
May 3, 2009 at 2:55 pmOne thing I find very sad about society (and we’ve been discussing this at length in bible study) is how Christians are put on a pedestal by the general population. And how EVERYONE has a different moral compass and the ‘rules’ God gives us are all individual. Its hard sometimes not to cast stones but that isn’t just. What we have to do (as you are) is listen to God when he speaks to US or gives US signs meant specifically for us on whether our actions are right in his eyes. Some sins are blanket, others are not.
Ryan seems like a great guy. 😉
Kristen
May 3, 2009 at 5:23 pmHey Jenna! I just want to say–I think the link you meant to put up for the dehydrator should be http://www.excaliburdehydrator.com/ instead? The one up there seems a bit off. =]
Leanne
May 3, 2009 at 5:24 pmLike everyone else has said, good for you Jenna. And also, the almond butter and raspberries in that first picture look SO delish!
patti crooks
May 3, 2009 at 9:52 pmdo not let people’s judgements get to you. do what is right for you.
Maggie
May 3, 2009 at 10:11 pmThis is a wonderful response and I totally relate. I’m not religious. I have so much faith. Thank you for putting this out there; I don’t think people understand a lot of the time!!
Hmph!
May 4, 2009 at 7:29 amSigh. Jenna, what you and Ryan do (or don’t do) is between you and God. People make ridiculous assumptions and it just reflects on THEM and where THEIR mind is.
My now husband and I are both believers and spent a lot of “unsupervised” time together before we got married (we were 26 years old, adults in graduate school and we didn’t need a chaparone). We also were doing the long distance and weekend visits were the only times we got to see each other.
A lot of narrow minded comments were offered and we COULD have defended ourselves, but it just wasn’t worth it. We knew what our commitments were and, frankly, it was none of their beeswax anyway.
Do what you know to be right and congratulations to you and Ryan.
Leila
May 4, 2009 at 8:04 amA little late in reading this entry, but congratulations on moving in with Ryan. Forget those who are judgmental and negative. I love the fact that you speak of your beliefs, but don’t judge others that have different ones, a quality obviously that commenter doesn’t embody. Thank you for sharing your life and perspective with all of us!
Life.Art.MidnightSnacks
May 4, 2009 at 11:09 amAmen to your response!!! No one has the right to judge you or your decisions! I really appreciate you letting us into your life- the good and the bad!
Susan Eitelman
May 7, 2009 at 7:36 pmKeep up being true to yourself! Don’t let the naysayers get you down, because for everyone of them there are many more of us that are cheering you on (even if silently). Good luck continuing to find your own path and thank you for sharing it with us!